the story of lard beepus
by spode's favorite joke
Summary: master roshi cleans out his pantry when he finds something terrible. that terrible thing is lard beepis. this is his tale. t for violent dragon ball z stuff swearing and alcohol. also drugs current cover by yours truly, akira toriyama. eventual dragon ball xenoverse plots. rest in peice disneyquest
1. prologue: cleaning out kame house

**prologue: cleaning out kame house**

master roshi wokeup one day. "boy could i go for a good magazine if you know what i mean wink" he said. he got up and looked around. they were all missing! "what is an old man to do now" he asked himself.

"maybe you should clean up" said turtle.

and so hedid. he found his magazines, food, and trash. kame house was now cleaner than ever. but he opened one of his pantrys to see what looked like a YELLOW BEERUS!

"HOLY SHIT" yelled master roshi. he will never ride nimbus again

the yellow beerus was sleeping, its tiny and frail body looking like if it moved a bit it would snap like a twig. he was about up to krillin's waist height, and had a puke green outfit. a dangerous aura surrounded him. master roshi left kame house.

the yellow beerus woke up. it made a horrible screeching noise. it stole everything in the pantry and ran out like a horrible goblin. it blew up turtle.

a sit looked around the island, it saw a ghost-like creature and went over to it. "i am your faithful yokai butler, WHISper. said the ghost. "i will guide you through thick and thin. you mayy not really be a god of destruction or a god for that matter but we gotta find a way to beat up beerus and take his spot. so we have to train and get buff"

the false god nodded. it spoke for the first time in its life, its voice sounding not unlike scratch adventure of sonic the hedgehog. "but what is my name" he yelled.

"youre name is... lard beepis. now lets go. times wasting"


	2. chapter 1: an accident

**chapter 1: que** **stionable questionings**

lard bepus and his new trusty associate swam off of the island. they swam until they reached shore. there, they found a strange pod. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" yelled lard beepys.

"maybe you can use that to get around until you can fly" said WHISper. lard beapus nodded and got in the pod.

there were so many controls! but lard beaapus was just a baby boy. what would he do? he slammed his fists on the controls, shattering them, and blasting the pod off into space.

"no!" yelled WHISper. "we are blasting off into space!" but they couldnt do anything but wait for the ship to land.

* * *

"TURTLES DEAD!" yelled krillin.

from the distance oolong replied with "WHO CARES!"

oolong was not heard from again.

master roshi sighed. "i went to a far away store to get pesticide i guess the pest was what killed him"

"pest?" said bulma. "like what kind of pest'

"it looked like the god of destruction lord beerus"

everybody gasped! "what do we do?" yelled krillin.

"we do what we always do" answered bulma. "we get goku"

* * *

krillin walked out of kame house. "i looked everywhere but i didn't see him" he said. "kame house is a wreck though" master roshi glared at krilling but he knew now was not a time for confrontation. turtle was dead and they had to find the pest who killed him.

bulma thought for a moment then spoke up. "wait what if we used a god radar"

yamcha was confused. "huh"

"a god radar. it detects gods"

"fair enough"

* * *

the pod was moving faster than something was really fast! and it was hurtling towards a planet! "WATCH OUT! YOU'RE GONNA CRASH! AHHH!" yelled WHISper. and they Did

when they woke up and left the pod the first thing they saw was that they were in a field of blue grass and there were some guys staring at them.

"looks like we crashed on planet namek" said WHISper. "there are dragonballs here. they are shiny orbs with stars on them that grant wishes. we could use those to get stronger"

"what brings you young fellows to new namek?" said one of the namekians. "are you tourists?"

lrad bippus gasped. he didnt know what a tourist was! he just nodded pretending to know what he meant.

"well theres lots of things to see on new namek. would you like a tour?"

lord barpus shrugged.

"hes asking if you want to be shown around" said WHISper.

"OKAY" SCREAMED LAODR BEPUS

* * *

goku showed up at kame house. "oh no turtle's dead!"

"we... know. thats why we called you here" saids yamcha. _boy this is a mess_ he thought to himself. "anyway we think the one who did it was the GOD OF DESTRUCTION LORD BEERUS!"

goku gasped. "but why though?"

master roshi shrugged. "i mean it couldve been something else. i saw him in my drawers but he was smaller than krillin and was yellow. still a cat though"

"then its not him probably" said yamcha. "why didnt you tell us this earlier?!" yamcha looked around. "and also where is puar"

they heard a voice from inside kame house. "so i just found oolong's corpse" yelled puar. everybody GASPED!

"who killed him?" asked master roshi.

puar shrugged.

"well that got us far"

goku thought long and hard. who killed oolong? "...we could wish him back with the dragon balls"

"great idea goku but that still didnt answer our question"

bulma said "while you guys search for the dragon balls the rest of us search for clues"

"im not going" said roshi

"then just goku"

goku said "ok" and returned instantly with all the dragon balls.

"how did getting those get so fast i didnt even see you LEAVE" wondered krillin. everbody else just shrugged as the dragon balls did their thing

"I am the Eternal Dragon. State your-" shrenron stopped and sighed. "Of course. Who's dead."

"oh great dragon, brink back our lost friend, turtle!" said krillin

"At least there's SOME variety..."

master roshi pointed at oolong's corpse. "krillin youre forgetting someone"

"fine. also bring back oolong"

"Your wish has been- who cares." the dragon flew off with all the dragon balls, and oolong and turtle woke up.

"wow that was terrible" said oolong. "thanks A LOT for killing me krillin"

everyone turned over to look at krilin. "i can explain" he said

* * *

"and this here is our village" said the namekian who was leading the group.

"NEAT" screamed lard beepus.

"could you please stop yelling" said a bystander.

"I LIVE TO SCREAM"

WHISper floated over to lad beps. "you should listen to your elders. only when you are the new GOD OF DESTUCTION can you ignore the law" lrod beesp sighed. not being the GOD OF DESTRUCTION was hard. someday he wouldnt have to listened to the rules. but not yet.

"this has been your tour of our corner of new namek. enjoy your stay and make sure to check out the gift shop"

lard bespus looked around. there was so much to do here on new namek! what would he do first? "WHAT- what should we do first WHISper"

WHISper pointed towards the gift shop. "i think we should go check that out" lard ebpus nodded and they went.

* * *

"krillin you cant just kill oolong" said bulma

krillin replied with "he didnt care about turtle dying though and he never does anything for us unlike turtle"

"remember when i stopped pilaf from making his wish? his wish for world domination? anyone remember that?" said oolong. but he was ignored

turtle said "please do not argue. what matters is that we arent dead. please dont kill him again"

"fine" answered krillin

bulma spoke again. "now that thats out of the way do you know who killed you turtle?"

turtle nodded. "it looked like the GOD OF DESTRUCTION, LORD BEERUS"

"yeah we know that"

"oh"

* * *

when they entered the gift shop, WHISper and lard bespeis saw only one thing was in stock, hidden by cobwebs. it was a large orange orb with three stars on it. the namekian at the counter was barely paying attention to anything, and the only other person in the room was holding a sign that said 'capitalism is ruining new namek!'

"what is capitalism" asked lerad beeps.

WHISper said "its not important. whats important is what is for stock. thats a dragon ball!" he tapped the bored namekian on the shoulder. "excuse me but how much for the dragon ball"

the namekian wasnt really paying attention "its free whatever"

"thanks" said WHISper. "we now have one dragon ball!"

WHISper and lard beepus left the giftshop and the village. "this would be so much easier if we had something that detected dragon balls... like a winged lizard detector or something" said WHISper

lard bippis grabbed what looked like a watch out of his oversized ear. "WHEN I-" WHISper shushed him, then he continued quietly. "when i was in that horrible house at that island i found this. it looks like its detecting our dragon ball"

"well thats convenient" WHISper said.

they looked back at the radar and saw 3 dragon balls moving away from them. "can dragon balls walk" asked lared beeps.

"no. someone else must be looking for them!"

* * *

"the dragon radars missing" said bulma. "how did you even find them without that?"

goku shrugged. "i dont know" he looked over at turtle. "but what i do know is i wanna find out who killed turtle so i can fight them. i like fighting people"

"...we...know."

bulma turned around. "well im just going to work on that god radar now" she said. "bye" everybody said goodbye to bulma and then she left.

"what do we do in the meantime" asked puar.

"well duh" replied yamcha. "we train"

"what about me"

"everybody is training today. even turtle."

turtle gasped. "but i cannot fight. i am a mere turtle!"

"yes and they said that i couldnt fight because i was yamcha. but they were so wrong"

"not really" said tien

"when did you even get here?!"

* * *

loord baeps saw a bunch of people fly past him and WHISper. "THEYRE THE ONES WITH THE DRAGON BALLS" yelled laord bepsi.

"no! you were too loud! now theyll notice you!" said WHISper with horror. just as WHISper had thought, all of them stopped and turned over to our heroes. oh no


	3. chapter 2: arriving

chapter 2: arriving

krillin walked out of kame house. "i looked everywhere but i didn't see him" he said. "kame house is a wreck though"

master roshi glared at krilling but he knew now was not a time for confrontation. turtle was dead and they had to find the pest who killed him.

bulma thought for a moment then spoke up. "wait what if we used a god radar"

yamcha was confused. "huh"

"a god radar. it detects gods"

"fair enough"

.

the pod was moving faster than something was really fast! and it was hurtling towards a planet! "WATCH OUT! YOU'RE GONNA CRASH! AHHH!" yelled WHISper. and they Did

when they woke up and left the pod the first thing they saw was that they were in a field of blue grass and there were some guys staring at them.

"looks like we crashed on planet namek" said WHISper. "there are dragonballs here. they are shiny orbs with stars on them that grant wishes. we could use those to get stronger"

"what brings you young fellows to new namek?" said one of the namekians. "are you tourists?"

lrad bippus gasped. he didnt know what a tourist was! he just nodded pretending to know what he meant.

"well theres lots of things to see on new namek. would you like a tour?"

lord barpus shrugged.

"hes asking if you want to be shown around" said WHISper.

"OKAY" SCREAMED LAODR BEPUS

.

goku showed up at kame house. "oh no turtle's dead!"

"we... know. thats why we called you here" saids yamcha. /boy this is a mess/ he thought to himself. "anyway we think the one who did it was the GOD OF DESTRUCTION LORD BEERUS!"

goku gasped. "but why though?"

master roshi shrugged. "i mean it couldve been something else. i saw him in my drawers but he was smaller than krillin and was yellow. still a cat though"

"then its not him probably" said yamcha. "why didnt you tell us this earlier?!" yamcha looked around. "and also where is puar"

they heard a voice from inside kame house. "so i just found oolong's corpse" yelled puar.


	4. chapter 3: whodunnit and other questions

chapter 3: whodunnit and other questions

everybody gasped.

"who killed him?" asked master roshi.

puar shrugged.

"well that got us far"

goku thought long and hard. who killed oolong? "...we could wish him back with the dragon balls"

"great idea goku but that still didnt answer our question"

bulma said "while you guys search for the dragon balls the rest of us search for clues"

"im not going" said roshi

"then just goku"

goku said "ok" and flew off. because this is dragon ball z and not the original dragon ball, goku returned almost instantly with all the dragon balls.

"how did getting those get so fast" wondered krillin. everbody else just shrugged as the dragon balls did their thing

"I am the Eternal Dragon. State your-" shrenron stopped and sighed. "Of course. Who's dead."

"oh great dragon, brink back our lost friend, turtle!" said krillin

"At least there's SOME variety..."

master roshi pointed at oolong's corpse. "krillin youre forgetting someone"

"fine. also bring back oolong"

"Your wish has been- who cares." the dragon flew off with all the dragon balls, and oolong and turtle woke up.

"wow that was terrible" said oolong. "thanks A LOT for killing me krillin"

everyone turned over to look at krilin. "i can explain" he said

.

"and this here is our village" said the namekian who was leading the group.

"NEAT" screamed lard beepus.

"could you please stop yelling" said a bystander.

"I LIVE T M"

WHISper floated over to lad beps. "you should listen to your elders. only when you are the new GOD OF DESTUCTION can you ignore the law"

lrod beesp sied. not being the GOD OF DESTRUCTION was hard. someday he wouldnt have to listened to the rules. but not yet.

"this has been your tour of our corner of new namek. enjoy your stay and make sure to check out the gift shop"

lard bespus looked around. there was so much to do here on new namek! what would he do first? "WHAT- what should we do first WHISper"

WHISper pointed towards the gift shop. "i think we should go check that out" lard ebpus nodded and they went.

.

"krillin you cant just kill oolong" said bulma

krillin replied with "he didnt care about turtle dying though and he never does anything for us unlike turtle"

"remember when i stopped pilaf from making his wish?" said oolong. but he was ignored

turtle said "please do not argue. what matters is that we arent dead. please dont kill him again"

"fine" answered krillin

bulma spoke again. "now that thats out of the way do you know who killed you turtle?"

turtle nodded. "it looked like the GOD OF DESTRUCTION, LORD BEERUS"

"yeah we know that"

"oh"

.

when they entered the gift shop, WHISper and lard bespeis saw only one thing was in stock, hidden by cobwebs. it was a large orange orb with three stars on it. the namekian at the counter was barely paying attention to anything, and the only other person in the room was holding a sign that said 'capitalism is ruining new namek!'

"what is capitalism" asked lerad beeps.

WHISper said "its not important. whats important is what is for stock. thats a dragon ball!" he tapped the bored namekian on the shoulder. "excuse me but how much for the dragon ball"

the namekian wasnt really paying attention "its free whatever"

"thanks" said WHISper. "we now have one dragon ball!"


	5. chapter 4: quest for the dragon balls

chapter 3: quest for the dragon balls

WHISper and lard beepus left the giftshop and the village. "this would be so much easier if we had something that detected dragon balls... like a winged lizard detector or something" said WHISper

lard bippis grabbed what looked like a watch out of his oversized ear. "WHEN I-" WHISper shushed him, then he continued quietly. "when i was in that horrible house at that island i found this. it looks like its detecting our dragon ball"

"well thats convenient" WHISper said.

they looked back at the radar and saw 3 dragon balls moving away from them. "can dragon balls walk" asked lared beeps.

"no. someone else must be looking for them!"

.

"the dragon radars missing" said bulma. "how did you even find them without that?"

goku shrugged. "i dont know" he looked over at turtle. "but what i do know is i wanna find out who killed turtle so i can fight them. i like fighting people"

"...we...know."

bulma turned around. "well im just going to work on that god radar now" she said. "bye"

everybody said goodbye to bulma and then she left. "what do we do in the meantime" asked puar.

"well duh" replied yamcha. "we train"

"what about me"

"everybody is training today. even turtle."

turtle gasped. "but i cannot fight. i am a mere turtle!"

"yes and they said that i couldnt fight because i was yamcha. but they were so wrong"

"not really" said tien

"when did you even get here?!"

.

loord baeps saw a bunch of people fly past him and WHISper. "THEYRE THE ONES WITH THE DRAGON BALLS" yelled laord bepsi.

"no! you were too loud! now theyll notice you!" said WHISper with horror. just as WHISper had thought, all of them stopped and turned over to our heroes. oh no


	6. chapter 5: the mysterios figure

chapter 5: the mysterios figure

lard beepsu ans WHISper were surrounded by guys with blasters! "what do you think you re doing here on new namkek during our new namek conquest" said one of them. "with new blasters and new soldiers"

"WE WERE LOOKING FOR DRAGON BALLS" replied lard bese, killing several namekians with the sheer volume of his voice.

"well if youre looking for those we'l;l just have to kill you"

WHISper floated over to the guy who was talking. "perhaps we could negotiate"

"what do ya have"

lard beepus checked his pockets. he had a chewed up piece of gum, a playboy magazine and a picture of some blue haired lady. he got them all from the island house

"hm... fine i'll;' take them" he took the items and gave WHISper and lard bepsid the dragon ball. "now we will kill you"

our heroes gasped! "but we gave you our stuff" said WHISper. "why are you killing us"

"youll get the dragon ball, but you are on new namek so i will kill you and then take the dragon ball back!"

"you fiend! that dragon ball now belongs to us! we had a trade"

"dead people cant own things"

"oh right"

it looked like it was the end for lead bespis and his assistant! suddenly, just as the soldiers raised their blasters, a mysterious cloaked figure punched them all into a cliff! "follow me"

.

"so whats going on here? i was looking for chiaotzu." said tien, his shoulderspan causing an eclipse. metaphorically

"hes not here" said bulma. "if he was he would be dead"

"huh? why?"

"well one, krillin has committed murder and will be arrested at some point, and we were visited by what looked like THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION, LORD BEERUS"

"well, thats, anyway. what are you doing"

"training"

"well i would train too but i have to find chiaotzu. i must go now" then tien left.

"well lets train!" said goku.

.

the cloaked figure stopped at a giant cave. "alright we're here"

"who are you?" asked WHISper.

"i cant say my name sorry"

"well why did you save us?"

"i have to prevent something bad from happening. to do that i have to save you two"

"well isnt us dying something bad"

"yeah"

lard beaprus looked down at the 2nd dragon ball they obtained. it had one star onit. "SO WHY- so why do those guys want the dragon balls and who are they" he asked.

"well you see, they are working for an evil guy named new frieza. they want to getthe dragon balls so they can wish for his immortality"

"then we have to stop them"

"you arent strong enough to do that yet. you need to train"

"actually we were just gonna wish for more strength"

"still"


	7. chapter 6: past and present

chapter 6: past and present

"ok so what do you know" said the cloaked figure.

lard bersup thought for a bit. what could he do? "i can _**SCREAM**_ "

"well thats not going to help. alright just jump at me and try to attack"

lard pbupsi nodded. he stared at the figure for a long time, not blinking or breaking eye contact.

"what are you waiting for-" just as the figure spoke, lardp bepsis launched at him and kicked him in the gullet! it did nothing though

"it was a good effort," said the figure. "but you still need some training"

WHISper floated over. "is there anything we can call you other than weird cloaked guy?"

"idk"

"THEN I'LL JUST CALL YOU COOL DUDE" yelled alrd beepus before WHISper could speak.

.

it was long ago on a doomed planet. a saiyan baby with purple hair was tossed in a pod full of trash without anybody noticing.

"so parsle, hows the 'prrrrrromotion'" said one of the saiyans.

the saiyan named parsle, who had a straw hat spoke. "spinac. ya know i was put on garbage duty. gosh danged garbage duty! i swear, lord friezas got no idea what true strength is. i could probably beat that there king vegeta!"

spinac gasped. "you cant say those things about them! you know what they could do to you!"

"and i will embrace death with open arms when it inevitably comes."

their conversation was interrupted by a couple running over. "parsle what the hell" said one of them.

"what do ya mean 'what the hell'" asked parsle.

"you just kidnapped me and califler's firstborn child!" yelled the other one.

spinac turned to parsle. "did you really steal someones kid!?"

"what? no! what makes you guys say that?"

califler replied by shouting "maybe it was the video footage of you taking him!?"

parsle and spinac watched the space tape (a tape, in space. its futuristic) in shock. "holy shit you really stole someone's firstborn"

"holy shit i really stole someone's firstborn"

califler put away the space tape. "so, are you going to confess and give back our child?"

"i was just lookin' for trash!"

"oh so now you're calling our baby trash!?"

"no i just really need some danged glasses and lord frieza refuses to issue em'!"

"im pretty sure you would KNOW if you took an entire baby."

parsle pressed the button on the trash pod, sending it far out into space. "look, i didnt do it on purpose. now let me get back to my work"

"not until you give back our baby."

parsle looked around. "i dont actually know where i put him..."

suddenly, he stared up at the sky in horror. "oh shit i just launched your firstborn into space"


	8. chapter 7: secret of time

chapter 7: secret of time

the couple gasped as they watched the pod fly into space. "where do the trash pods go!?"

"directly into the nearest star..."

they SCREAMED! AND THEY SCREAMED SOME MORE! they only stopped screaming when they heard some else scream. "frieza's gonna kill us all!"

"bardock? whats HE going on about" asked parsle. he flew to bardock, trying to avoid dealing with the fact that he just sent an infant hurtling towards a flaming space orb. "bardock what are you on about"

"friezas gonna kill us all and nobodys listening to me"

parlse let out a sigh of relief. "thank god im finally gonna die"

"i think you meant OUR ENTIRE RACE!"

"trivial details"

califler went over. "yeah id help with your totally believable frieza issue but MY CHILD IS IN A POD FULL OF TRASH AND IS GOING TO BURN. so if you excuse me, i'll be stealing a spacae pod and using it to rescue my kid." with that, she flew off.

bardock sighed. "fine dont believe me. but when everybody is dead just know that its because nobody even cared enough about the DEATH OF OUR PLANET" bardock left.

spinac turned over to parsle. "so did you actually believe him"

"yeah but im ready for death y'all"

.

cool dude, WHISper, and lard beepus trained for hours. lard beepus was much stronger than when he started! but now it was night. of course, considering planet namek had three suns, not much was different

"well, time to set up camp" said cool dude. he tossed several capsules on the ground, and an entire campsite was seen when all of the dust clouds cleared. there was even bags of marshmallows and hut dogs.

lard beepus wanted to eat them all but he wasnt allowed to. he would someday "why do you haveto keep your name hidden mr cool dude" he asked.

"well, something bad could happen if i told you..." the cloaked figure thought for a moment. "...can you keep a secret, you two"

our heroes nodded. "i have no friends to spill the beans to" said lard bepus.

"alright. then... i'll tell you my name. my real name is..." he pulled down his hood. "yamcha. im here from the future to prevent the end of universes."

lrad bepse and WHISper gasped! "wow! a noble goal!" stated WHISper. "how come you had to keep that a secret though?"

"well, im kind of hiding from several different people. new frieaza is out to get me, what's basically time polive are out to get me, and an evil villain from the future is out to get me."

"who is this dastardly villain?"

"his name, nobody knows for sure. but the survivors of the future call him... the shadow of time. he is a horrible man with infinite power who killed trillillillions! there are only a few people who remain in the universe."

"thats bad"

"yeah i know. thats why i, yamcha, have come to save the multiverse from his wrath." he looked to the side. "but you cannot tell anyone anything about who i am. nobody truly knows whos who anymore. he has already reached across timelines, trying to find me. he disguises himself as people, whether it be a bystander or someone more important."

"this is a lot to take in..." quietly yelled lard beepus. "i am just a baby boy who wants to become the new god of destruction"

"wait what"

"i just wanna get really strong"

"oh phew" yamcha looked outside the cave. "well, we should get some rest. even though it looks like its the middle of the day"

and so they Did. little did our heroes know, a dark force was watching.


	9. chapter 8: the adventure continues

chapter 8: the adventure continues

when the crew woke up, it still looked like day outside. go figure. yamcha put everything back in their capsules. "we better move if we wanna train without getting killed"

they left the cave. "where do we go now" asked WHISper.

"I THINK WE SHOULD FIND THE DRAGON BALLS" SCREAMED LARD OEPBUS.

"ok"

loud busbus looked at the dragon radar. there were four dragon balls moving. "that must be the new frieza soldiers." he concluded. then, henoticed one dot all on its own, completely forgotten. "we HAVE TO GET THE DRAGON BALL"

"we have to be quiet" said yamcha.

when they got to where the radar was pointing them, they found a huge lake. "WELL TIME TO DIE. V." after speaking, lard bpsurs jumped into the water. a while passed, and he did not resurface

"ah, hold on" said WHISPer calmly. "i forgot to tell him how to swim"

.

califler's pod shot into space, heading towards the trash pod. it was getting closer and closer to thun sun, so she needed to hurry.

the pod that califler was in managed to get right behind the trash pod. "wait how am i supposed to get him out of the pod? i shouldve thought this through"

while she was thinking, a meteor headed straight towards the two pods, and she didnt notice. the meteor hit her child's pod, sending it deep into space, while califler careened into the sun. "shit"

back on planet vegeta, parsle and spinac looked up at the sky. "so what do you think happened to califler" asked spinac.

the other saiyan laughed. "she probably got burnt to a crisp. well we're all gonna burn to a crisp so it doesnt really matter does it"

spinac turned around in the opposite direction. "well im going to get off this planet because unlike you i dont want to die"

"have fun with that"


	10. chapter 9: AN OCEAN OF STRENGTH

chapter 9: AN OCEAN OF STRENGTH

yamcha dived into the water. _good thing i took those swimming classes in the future_ he thought to himself. he saw lard beepus with a bubble over his head, fighting A GIANT SPACE EEL

"HOLY SHIT" burbled yamcha. he will also never ride nimbus again.

lraed bepsise turned over to his friend. since his head was in a bubble and thats how it totally works, he could speak and breathe. "YAMCHA GET OUT OF HERE THINGS ARE GETTING REAL SPICEY" he lost focus while talking to yamcha and the EEL SLAPPED HIM, POPPING HIS BUBBLE! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA burble burble burble"

yamcha swam over grabbed lard bepsou and leapt out of the water. "I CAN SWIM" yelled ladder biceps.

"but i thought you couldnt" said WHISper.

"WE SWAM ACROSS THE OCEAN FOR MILES AND MILES. I THINK I CAN SWIM."'

yamcha walked over to the lake. "i'll take care of this from here" he jumped in.

"HOPE HE CAN MAKE IT"

.

all of the z fighters were super strong now. EVEN YAMCHA

"we have to hurry or something bad could happen" said krillin. "i can't believe im finally a useful character now"

"I HAVE RIPPLING MUSCLES NOW YAMCHA" puar yelled. but he didnt actually look any different. nor did oolong

krillin looked over. "i dont see them"

puar shapeshifted some muscles. "but they are right here!"

oolong sighed. "we all know you shapeshifted those"

"NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR INPUT"

suddenly, they heard the door to kame house open. THEY SAW GOKU! HE HAD RED HAIR THAT WAS REALLY REALLY LONG!

"HOLY SHIT GOKU YOU ARE STRONG" said krilling

bulma said "I CAN FEEL THAT"

"im super saiyan 6 guys"

krillin tilted his head. "what happened to 4 and 5"

"not canon"

.

vegeta was punching the ground or something when he felt an ENERGY LIKE NONE OTHER. "IS THAT KARAOTKR" HE SCREAMED. "I SWEAR IF THATS CARROT IM GONNA SCREAM"'

he flew towards the UNSTOPPABLE POWER. HE SURE WAS IN FOR A SHOCK

.

piccolo was sitting by a river. he heard vegeta screaming. "whats he screaming about now." he said to himself. A WAVE OF INCREDIBLE POWER HIT HIM! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" IT WAS SO STRONG THAT IT LAUNCHED HIM ACROSS THE PLANET!

.

gohan was at a bar, drinking the strongest drink available. he has just lost his job, his wife and child were dead, and life was hfil. suddenly, he heard piccolo screaming and saw a flash of green crash through the bar! "MR PICCOLO NO" EVEN MORE, HE NOW FELT AN INTENSE STRENGTH!

he flew after piccolo. maybe if he caught up fast enough, piccolo would survive

.

lard beepus, yamcha, and WHISper heard distant screaming and FEALT PURE LIQUID GLUTEN FREE BUFFNESS COMING FROM FAR AWAY!

WHISper looked around. "that doesnt look good. it sounds like its coming from an entire other planet but it couldnt be, right"

lard bessp shrugged. "ALL WE CAN DO IS HOPE YAMCHA IS ALRIGHT"

.

future trunks was sitting at a campfire with a bunch of other people. "i hope yamcha will be alright. he was pretty insistent on using my time machine"

the other people nodded. JUST THEN, THEY FELT A DISTANT ULTIMATE POWER! THEN, THEY HEARD PICCOLO VEGETA AND GOHAN SCREAMING!

"hey so arent those people dead. thats coming from another timeline." said somebody

.

goku looked around. "so wheres this guy i gotta fight"

everyone shrugged. "well most of you can fly so go look" said oolong.

"nimbus!" called goku. the titular yellow cloud flew over. "so, who would like to-"

goku was interrputed by vegeta arriving. vegeta took one look at goku. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"


	11. chapter 10: POWER

chapter 10: POWER

vegeta KEPT SCREAMING. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" HIS HAIR STARTED GROWING! AND TURNING RED! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

VEGETAS POWER WAS GROWING MORE INTENSE BY THE SECOND! HIS POWER BEGAN TO SURPASS GOKUS!

"HOLY SHIT HES BUFF" SCREAMED PUAR. HE WILL ALSO NEVER RIDE NUMBUS AGAIN

suddenly, piccolo collided into vegeta and he went back to normal. piccolo somehow wasnt dead

gohan also landed. "thank kami mr piccolo isnt dead"

krillin went over to them. "do you think piccolo and vegeta need a senzu bean"

everybody stared at him. "ya think" said oolong

.

yamcha swam down into the lake, fists at the ready. he saw the giant eel guarding the 6 star dragon ball! he swam down, grabbed the eel, AND TOSSED IT OUT OF THE WATER!

lard epcot and WHISper watched in awe as the eel flew for MILES! "WOW YAMCHA YOU MUST BE THE STRONGEST" YELLED LARP BESSPPPPPPPISs

yamcha jumped out of the water holding the DRAGON BALL! "im not just the strongest...i am yamcha"

EVRYBODY APPLAUDED! "WOW YAMCHA YOU ARE GREAT" yelled one of the namekians. he immediatley regretted it though."OW MY EARS"

yamcha landed. "that eel wont becoming back for a while"

they heard a loud booming voice behind them. "EXCUSE YOU, BUT IM A /SPACE/ EEL" THE EEL COULD FLY!

"UH OH"

yamcha turned to look at his fans. "dont worry, yamcha is here to save the day" he got into a fighting pose. "now fiend, get ready for my wolf fang fist"

EVERYONE GASPED! "YAMCHAS USING HIS SIGNATURE ATTACK!"

"wait man i dont wanna fight"

yamcha stopped. "huh"

"i mean. youg uys were trying to steal my neat orb. thats not nice"

"sorry but we need it"

"unless you have something good to give me in return"

the gang thought for a while. did they have anything to give to the eel!?


	12. chapter 11: the eel deal

chapter 11: the eel deal

lard bepsua screamed "I GAVE ALL OF MY STUFF TO THE GUY WHO ATTACKED US EARLIER" what would they do now?

yamch aopened a container full of capsules and grabbed one. he tossed it and an entire MANSION APPEARED! It WAS ALSO WATER PROOF!

"thats pretty good. thanks. in return i'll give you the orb" they now had the 6 star ball!

"YEAH!" SC REAMED LAR DPOBES

.

goku said "anyway, who wants to go with me to find the guy who killed turtle"

"what are you talking about." asked piccolo.

VEGETA SCREAMED AGAIN! "I DONT CARE ABOUT THAT! HOW DID KAKAROT MANAGE TO ASCEND TO A LEVEL LIKE THAT! ITS IMPOSSIBLE! AT THAT POWER, ONE COULD BEAT LORD BEERUS! HOW THE HELL DID KAKAROT ACHIEVE THAT POWER?!"

gohan shrugged. "i dont know but im ready for death"

"why" asked piccolo.

"my family died"

"thats unfortunate" asked piccolo.

"DONT TURN YOUR BACK ON ME, I WONT BE IGNORED" YELLED VEGTEBALE"HOW DID HE ACHIEVE THIS STRENGTH! ?"

"hey thats a song lyric."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

.

"what do we do next" asked WHISper. "i mean, the rest of the dragon balls are with those new frieza guys"

yamcha looked up at the sky. "we only have one choice. and that is to fight back against new frieza and his new army on new namek!"

"you really think we can do that?"

"if we all band together, we can make it. now lets go!"


	13. chapter 12: the discovery of horror

chapter 12: the discovery of horror

yamcha, lard beepus, and WHISper hid behind a bush, watching new frieza and his new army. they were doing evil things! like murder

"boy do i love committing murder ey new zarbon?" said the evil new menace.

new zarbon replied with "dont we all?"

"yes but i love doing it the most. no objecting to my statement"

yamcha whispered "its terrible. we have to stop them!"

"BUT HOW?" SCREMED LARD BEEPUS.

NEW FREIZA AND HIS NEW ARMY TURNED AROUND AND SAW THEM! "HEY ITS THAT GUY WE SURROUNDED EARLIER!"

"UH OH!"

WHISper looked over at lead beepoisoning. "i told you to not shout..."

new frieza sighed. "soldiers, you take care of this. this isnt worth my time." with that, he flew away.

.

"anyway, who wants to find the guy who killed turtle?" repeated goku, even though vegeta was still screaming.

"i'll go" said turtle. he attempted to get onto nimbus, BUT HE FELL THROUGH!

EVERYONE GASPED. "YOU ARENT OF PURE HEART TURTLE" YELLED KRILLIN!

master roshi said "well he's a damn liar"

turtle gasped. "i am?"

"you said you were a mere turtle who couldnt fight but you DO have martial arts training"

TURTLE WAS SHOCKED! "i must go. it has been a long run. but its time for me to leave" and with that, he swam off into the ocean.

everybody stared for a few minutes.

"anyway, who wants to find the guy who killed turtle?"


	14. chapter 13: unexpected

chapter 13: unexpected

piccolo got up off the ground, now recovered after eating the senzu bean. "i'll go" he said. "i'm one of the only non saiyan characters who is still somewhat relevant"

everyone stared. "what are you talking about"

he thought for a moment. "what /am/ i talking about? whatever, lets go"

"wait" said gohan. "i'll go too. i have nothing else to do"

and so, the group flew off, not knowing what they'd find on their adventure.

.

a guy working for frieza said "I EAT KITTENS FOR LUNCH EVERYDAY, EAT SAIYANS FOR BREAKFAST, AND GHOSTS FOR SUPPER"

yamcha mumbled "im not a saiyan and also you got the meal order wrong-" but then he was interrupted by BEING PUNCHED! "OW" he yelled.

"OH NO YAMCHA IS IN TROUBLE" SCR EAMED LARD BEEPUS! HE FLEW OVER AND STARTED FLAILING AT THE FRIEZA SOLDIERS FACE

"AH SHIT I CANT SEE" SCREAMED THE FREIZA SOLDIEr.

"GOOD YAMCHA ATTACK HIM"

yamcha flew up towards the soldier. HE GRABBED THE GUY AND TOSeD HIM INTO THE OCEAN! "one down, 400 more to go"

LEERD BYPASS GASPED. "400!? WE CANT BEAT 400 REALLY STRONG GUYS"

but yamcha was ready to take all of them on! he started charging up a GIANT ENERGY BLAST! /i perfected this technique in the future/ he thought to himself. "GET READY FOR MY WOLF FANG ULTIMATE BLAST!"

ALL OF THE NEW SOLDIERS SCREAMED! "NO NOT HIS FUTURE SIGNATURE ATTACK!" THEY ALL RAN AWAY EXCEPT FOR ONE!

"pff, i can take a wolf fang ultimate blast. try something else and maybe i wont steal your lunch money. and your dragon balls"

yamcha said "youre bluffing. nobody can survive my wolf fang ultimate blast!" AND THEN HE FIRED IT! THE FORCE OF A TRILLION WOLVES WERE LAUNCHED ONTO HIS FOE! A HUGE CRATER HIDDEN BY DUST WAS CREATED BY IT! "see? nobody can-" SUDDENLY, YAMCHA GASPED! WHEN THE SMOKE CLEARED, THE FOE WAS STILL THERE!

"pff, youre weak. try harder"

"HOW ARE YOU SO STRONG" SCREAMED LARD BEEEEB

yamcha looked over. "looks like im gonna have to use my full power" he charged up! "get ready... FOR MY FUTURE WOLF FANG FIST!" THE SKY WENT DARK! AND FOR A PLANET WITH 3 SUNS THAT IS AMAZING! WOLVES HOWLING RANG OUT THROUGH THE AIR!

"huh i've never heard of this one"

yamcha ignored the foe AND KEPT CHARGING HIS FISTS! AN AURA OF PURE WOLVES SURROUNDED HIM!

"GROSS" said lard beaaaaaaaaapu. "BUT COOL"

"HAAAH" YELLED YAMCHAHE SHOT FOWARD! THERE WAS A LOUD CRASHQ! THE PLACE WAS FILLED WITH DUST! "i told you i'd win"

suddenly, THE DUST CLEARED! AND THE FOE WAS STILL STANDING! "so. have you realized who i am yet?"

"i dont understand...how could you make it past that? it was my ultimate STRENGTH" said yamcha.

the soldier chuckled. "youve seen me before. i am what you call..."

"the shadow of time."


	15. chapter 14: discovery and tragedy

chapter 14: discovery and tragedy

"so mr piccolo, do you have any idea of what we're looking for?" asked gohan as they flew over the trees.

piccolo replied "well, apparently the one who killed turtle looked like THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION, LORD BEERUS! but he was yellow and smaller than krillin."

"that's strange... maybe i could try using deductive reasoning to figure out what happened!"

"nerd"

just as gohan was about to speak, they saw a kid in the forest WITH WHAT LOOKED LIKE TRUNKS' TIME MACHINE!

"is that...?"

the kid looked up at the group. he had short purple spiky hair a tail and was wearing an outfit made of garbage. he stared at goku with wide eyes. "COUSIN IS THAT YOU?!"

.

EVERYONE WAS SHOCKED! "OH NO!" SCREAMED LARD BEEPUS. "WHAT DO WE DO"

yamcha didnt know what to do! before he could do anything, THE SHADOW OF TIME PLANTED A BUNCH OF SEEDS...?

"GARDENING! NO!" SCREAMED LARD BYPS

the shadow of time stared at him. "actually im just planting saibamen"

"ok. wait. whats a saibaman"

yamcha was staring in horror as the seeds grew into HUMANOID GREEN CREATURES! "the bane of my existance"

THEY ALL CHARGED TOWARDS THE GROUP!

the shadow of time spoke. "now now, the one you should be aiming for is the lame spiky haired one" after he said that, he vanished in a cloud of darkness.

ALL OF THE HEROES GASPED! THE SAIBAMEN ALL RAN OVER TO YAMCHA AND CLUNG ONTO HIS BACK! "OH NO NOT AGAIN" HE YELLED. YAMCHA TOSSED A TINY CAPSULE OVER TO LARD BEEPUTS, WHO CAUGHT IT. "GET OUT OF HERE, AND DONT LET THE SHADOW OF TIME GET HOLD OF THAT CAPSULE! USE WHAT'S INSIDE TO SAVE THE MULTIVERSE!" THE SAIBAMEN OF HIS BACK BEGAN GLOWING! "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

LEED BEEPS WATCHED IN FEAR! "YAMCHA NO" HE WAS ABOUT TO RUN OVER, BUT WHISper PULLEDD HIM AWAY! THEY ESCAPED AND HID IN ANOTHER CAVE.

LAD BIPPS PEEKED OUT OF THE CAVE, AND SAW A GIANT EXPLOSION.


	16. chapter 15: time machines & trivialities

chapter 15: time machines and trivialties

"i cant believe yamcha is dead..." whispered WHISper. "he sacrificed himself so that we could get away, and now all we have to remember him by is the tiny capsule. can something to small and seemingly insignificant truly contain millions of lost memories, torn apart by the ever so cruel force that is fate? or is it nothing but an empty husk, shed by a once living spirit that has been reduced to ash?"

"DID YOU TRY LOOKING INSIDE OF IT"

"oh no i didnt let me see" WHISper tossed the capsule and out came A TIME MACHINE! "he told us to use this... it must be his time machine"

laard beeepus hopped inside of it. "WELL LETS USE IT. HE GAVE US A MISSION AND WE ARE GONNA FOLLOW IT THROUGH" he looked at the controls. there were so many! he saw coordinates and numbers everywhere! he pressed the most recent one, and the time machine lid began to close.

"WAIT FOR ME" shouted WHISper. he quickly floated in, and soon, the time machine had vanished.

.

"im your cousin?" asked goku. "wow! whats your name?"

"Gorg..." he replied, with a tone that gave off a vibe of heavy finality.

"neat!"

Gorg... went over to trunk's time machine and opened it. he grabbed a BUNCH OF FOOD OUT OF IT! "help yourself" he turned over to the travelling group. "so what are your names anyway?"

"im goku! this is my best friend piccolo, and my son gohan!" he chuckled "haha, /son/ gohan"

"im dead inside dad." gohan looked over at the time machine. "just wondering but WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!?"

Gorg... thought for a bit. "somebody gave me it. cant remember who it was though" he pointed over to a nearby house. "my new dad lives there but hes not around much. his name is gun sohan and he's a famous artist"

"never heard of him" said gohan.

.

trunks was staring at the spot where his time machine normally sat nervously. "im worried about yamcha..." suddenly, HIS TIME MACHINE APPEARED! "oh phew"

when the hatch opened, what the survivors saw was not yamcha, BUT LARD BESPSUSAAAAA AND WHISper!

all of the people at the campsite stared in silence. "who... who is this. trunks do you know who this is" said a guy with black spiky hair and a tail."

trunks walked over to the not yet god of destruction and his associate. "you are... lead beepbeep, correct?" /DAMNIT/

"I AM LARD BEEPUS. THIS IS MY TRUSTY ASSISTANT, WHISPER. I LIKE TO /SCREAM/"


	17. chapter 16: the news

okay so we were on hiatus but im BACK

chapter 16: the news

lard beepus and WHISper explained everything to trunks.

"so... he's dead..." said trunks. "i didnt think it could happen..."

lard bespua looked at the time machine. "HE DID A BRAVE SACRIFICE FOR US. AND NOW WE NEED TO SAVE TIME!"

WHISper nodded. "and fast! who knows what the shadow of time is doing to our timeline as we speak!"

.

the shadow of time looked over to the namekian at the counter. "look. i really want to buy that space milk, and i dont have much money on me. can we haggle"

the namekian sighed. "look, you've haggled the lowest i'll go. if you can't afford it, then get out"

"fine. ugh" the shadow of time left

.

Gorg... jumped into the time machine. "do you wanna see something cool"

"i'd rather you not mess with-" said piccolo, being interrupted by the time machine beginning to close. they all rushed into the time machine, trying not to get left behind. "that. don't mess with that."

Gorg... pressed one of the coordinates. the person who gave him the time machine told him to go to that coordinate as soon as he got the time machine, but he was a baby so he couldnt really do that. it vanished without a trace, taking piccolo, Gorg..., gohan, and goku with it.


	18. chapter 17: time attack

chapter 17: time attack

lard beepus thought for a bit. "what are we gonna do though. we need HELP"

WHISper pointed to the time friends. "they can help us" he said. "after all, they are strong to have survived such a cruel fate"

one of them spoke up. "if we were that strong we wouldve beaten him a long time ago." he looked over at trunks. "i think that lavender haired loser is dragging us down"

"DONT SPEAK TO HIM LIKE THAT" SCREAMED LARD BEEPUS. "THATS NOT NICE"

another one went over. "oh so now the talking CHEESE is gonna preach to us, huh?"

trunks was somewhat panicked."we /really/ shouldnt be doing this! especially not this loud!"

"oh youre just mad because your the one being bullied huh"

"no, thats not- look, we're supposed to be /not/ drawing attention to us!"

suddenly, a large blast crashed into the area! people barely managed to dodge! "HOLY SHIT" SCREAMED ONE OF THEM. HE COULDNT RIDE NIMBUS IN THE FIRST PLACE THOUGH

lard beepus SCREAMED "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"we never trained for very long with yamcha" YELLED WHISper

"you didnt train at all"

"oh right"

from the dust flew out a CLOAKED FIGURE! but it wasnt the shadow of time.

"WHAT IS WITH EVERYONE AND CLOASK" SAID LEAD BEP

one of the people said "everyone wears a cloak in the future"

a BUNCH OF BLASTS WERE FIRED AT EVERYONE! TRUNKS' TIME MACHINE WAS DESTROYED! the guy who blasted at them said "you must be loud bipples, correct? the savior of the multiverse? well. show me your power"

lard bees LAUNCHED HIMSELF AT THE CLOKAED FIGURE! HE DODGED THOUGH.

"tch, pathetic." HE STARTED CHARGING UP A GIANT BLAST! "time to get rid of these survivors. my boss is gonna love these idiots getting destroyed" he looked over at trunks. "especially you"

trunks grabbed his sword and SHOT UP TOWARDS THE MYSTERIOUS GUY WHO WAS ABOUT TO KILL THEM ALL! THE HAND THAT THE FIGURE WASNT USING TO CHARGE THE BLAST GRABBED TRUNKS' SWORD! THEN HE SNAPPED IT OVER HIS KNEE! "this is like taking candy from a baby" he said as he wacked trunks into the nearest wall, "which is fine by me."

all of a sudden, a FAMILIAR TIME MACHINE APPEARED! the lid opened... REVEALING GOHAN, PICCOLO, GOKU, AND A YOUNG KID WITH PURPLE HAIR AND A SAIYAN TAIL!


	19. chapter 18: new pals and discoveries

chapter 18: new pals and discoveries

EVERYONE STARED SHOCKED AT THE NEW PEOPLE! AND THEY STARED TOO!

the cloaked guy turned over to Gorg... and stared in shock. "a...a...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH" HE FLEW AWAY. "YOU WONT BE LUCKY NEXT TIME"

piccolo pointed at lard beap. "is that..."

"the person who killed turtle!?" gohan finished.

lard beepus thought for a bit. "OH NO" HE SCREAMED. "I /DID/ KILL A TURTLE DIDNT I"

WHISper grimly nodded. "you did. but why do these people want to kill you over it?"

"HE... WAS OUR FRIEND!" SHOUTED GOKU! HIS HAIR TURNED GOLDEN AND STOOD UP, AND HIS EYES BECAME EMERALD GREEN! AN AURA OF PURE POWER SURROUNDED HIM!

WHISper said "please stop! he was different back then. he is now under my guidance! it wont happen again! and there is more important things to worry about..."

piccolo looked over at WHISper. "should we /really/ trust them?" his eyes widened. "and why does he have whis' face"

they heard a familiar voice muffled by rubble. "you... have to listen to them...!" they saw TRUNKS CLIMB OUT OF THE RUBBLE AND FALL OVER!

"TRUNKS?!" SAID THE NEW ARRIVALS. THEY WERE SHOCKED

"we have to heal him!" WHISper. he grabbed a sensu bean out of nowhere!

lard beepus looked at it. "WHAT IS THAT AND WHERE DID YOU GET IT"

"it is a sensu bean. it will instantly heal him."

"you didnt answer my other question"

"tha does not matter right now. we need trunks to explain what is going on!" he gave the bean to trunks, who recovered.

"thanks..." said trunks. he looked over at his time machine. "what!? gohan? piccolo? goku? and..."

"Gorg..." replied Gorg... before trunks could finish his sentence.

"how do you have my time machine? i know thats not the one from this timeline... it got blown up!"

"some guy gave it to me. he wanted me to go to this timeline for some reason. i was a baby so i couldnt understand him" responded Gorg...

lard bap looked at trunks. "you GOTTA explain the SHADOW OF TIME TO THEM"

trunks spoke. "you're right. i have to warn them..."


	20. chapter 19: the future future

chapter 19: the mirai future (its not the past!)

trunks began to explain the shadow of time to everyone. "the shadow of time is a dangerous entity that has destroyed thousands of timelines. he has the ability to transform into anything, and could rival even the gods of destruction in power..."

"wait why didnt he destroy this timeline" interrupted Gorg...

"im not really sure..." replied trunks. "but what i do know is that he is looking for us. and if he founds out where we are..."

"you die. hurry up with your explanation" finished the guy who insulted trunks earlier.

lard beepus pointed at him. "TRUNKS WHAT IS THAT GUYS NAME"

"my name is oleracea. why"

"I WANT TO PUNCH YOU OLERACEA"

"dont"

"OKAY"

.

everyone was waiting at kame house. "how long are they gonna take" aksed oolong.

puar said "be patient they could be fighting the false GOD OF DESTRUCTION, LORD BEERUS!"

"they arent fighting. if they were the ground would be shaking"

"just wondering oolong. what internal organ do you value the most"

.

"nobody knows who the shadow of time is, or what his motives are. all we know is that he wants to erase every timeline, eliminating any threat to him as he does so." finished trunks.

lard beepus was confused. "WHAT DOES THE SHADOW OF TIME HAVE TO DO WITH ME THOUGH"

"we think that you have the potential to become stronger than the shadow of time."


	21. intermission: welcome to the weed shack

_**Sorry! We were a few days late. But its okay now!**_

intermission: welcome to the weed shack

in a small shack outside of time, an anthropomorphic pig named oolong was really goddamned high. the door bursted open, and puar floated in. "ALRiGHT I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS OOLONG! I WANT YOU TO DISMANTLE THE WEED SHACK IMMEDIATELY, OR I WILL USE BRUTE FORCE" screamed the cat-like creature.

"im too high for this" replied oolong. "why do you want me to close down the weed shack"

"its taking profits from my tobacco hut!"

"oh come on, we both know thats just a ripoff of the weed shack!"

puar went silent.

"now get out of my weed shack before i get security. and the security IS master roshi. hes pretty strong i guess and hes the only one who would actually do it"

the bootlegger was about to say a retort, but oolong continued speaking.

"by the way, even if i wanted to close down the weed shack, i couldnt. the multiverse relies on the weed shack existing. does your 'tobacco hut' need to exist to not have the multiverse slowly crumble apart in all timelines?"

"n-no"

"then dont tell me to close down the weed shack"

puar gave up and left.

"now where was i... oh yeah getting balls high"

.

"HOLY BALLS" screamed the supreme kai of time.

trunks turned around. "what is it?"

"welch's is heading towards the weed shack."

EVERYONE IN THE TIME NEST SCREAMED. but why? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAgonBAll XENOVw

.

puar burst into the other ripoff of the weed shack, chiaotzu's vape house. "CLOSE DOWN THE VAPE HOUSE, OR I WILL USE MY RIPPLING MUSCLES"

chiaotzu just stared. "really"

PUAR WHACKED CHIAOTZU BUT HIS RIPPLING MUSCLES DID NOTHING! "HOLY SHIT" HE WOULD NEVER RIDE NIMBUS AGAIN

"come back when you have a better complaint" said chiaotzu. then he tossed puar out the window


	22. chapter 20: puars crimes & trunks times

chapter 20: puars crimes and trunks' times

"neat" said lard beeps. "how do i become strengths i wanna become the new GOD OF DESTRUCTION"

"you what" said oleracea in horror.

"i wanna get really strong"

"ok phew"

.

OOLONG WAS LAYING ON THE GROUND DYING. EVERYONE PANICKED

"PUAR NO" SCREAMED YAMCHA. HIS HEART WAS BROKEN. HIS OWN CAT? FRIEND (who was gay) HAD COMMITTED MURDER. "WE CANT BRING HIM BACK A SECOND TIME"

bulma turned to yamcha. "well i mean we could use the namekian dragon balls but..." she glanced over at oolongs corpse. "i dont think its worth it"

vegeta SCREAMED. "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING IGNORED AND WAITING FOR KAKAROT! I WILL DEAL WITH THIS MYSELF!"

yamcha stared at vegeta. "are... you just gonna ignore the fact that oolong is dead"

"YES!" and with that, vegeta flew off.

roshi looked at oolongs dead body. "can someone clean this up"

.

"the dragon balls dont work in this timeline, unfortuneatly..." said trunks. "and kamis lookout has been vaporised"

"DONT YOU MEAN VAPORWAVE" said Gorg...

"...whats vaporwave...?"

"EXCUSE ME" SCREAMED LARD BEEPUS. "YOU DONT KNOW WHAT VAPORWAVE IS?"

"...no?"

"THE FUTURE IS A _HORRIBLE_ PLACE"

.

an older version of Gorg... was in an apartment room, staring out the window. the LARGE tokitoki city was outside. and he was a time patroller for this city. but he hated time.

"Gorg. What are you doing here, neglecting your responsibilities. Trunks won't be very happy." an echoey voice said from behind him.

Gorg... sighed. time wasnt the only thing he hated. "welch's i thought you didnt care about what trunks had to say. if you did you wouldve left the time patrol a LONG time ago" replied Gorg..., not bothering to even look at the other patroller.

welch's seemed unaffected by Gorg...'s statements. "It's a game for me, Gorg. If I leave, you win. I will not leave until you inevitably die in a brutal time patrol accident. Which you will."

"and what if i dont"

welch's appeared in front of Gorg... "Then i will kill you myself." the baby blue majin with soulles dotted eyes and a large frown stared at him, unfeeling. unmoving. ready to murder Gorg... at any minute.

another voice spoke up. "hey so id rather you NOT fight and destroy tokitoki"

welch's turned around. "And what do you think you are going to do, Cilantra. What are you gonna do about it."

"...well shit i dont know? i guess i could tell the supreme kai of time or fructose"

"The only thing preventing me from murdering Gorg is my desire to have him live the rest of his days in immense hatred and fear because I am around constantly, with him unable to get rid of me. He hates me, and I hate him. This will never change. Do not get involved in what does not pertain to you, Cilantra."

"...well i guess i dont have a choice huh"

"You don't."


	23. chapter 21: time for CRIME

chapter 21: time for CRIME

cilantra, Gorg... and welchs just sat in Gorg...'s apartment awkwardly. "...so are we going to do anything?" said cilantra. "you know, something that isnt staring at either of your faces"

"we could find fructose and go on a time patrol" replied Gorg... "also dont say that about my face. its Rude"

welchs head turned 180 degrees to face Gorg... "She is not wrong about your face." he snapped back to looking at cilantra. "But you should watch your words."

cilantra avoided eye contact. _later i'm going to ask trunks WHY i partnered myself up with these people_ she thought. "lets just do some patrolling"

Gorg... cilantra, and welchs left the apartment. they didnt realize that they were going to see something terrible

.

the time pals looked at lard beepus, who had just finished explaining vaporwave, like he was a madman.

"so... your saying that the genre vaporwave is just music slowed down?" asked trunks.

lard beepus screamed "YEAH" in response.

"...i dont believe you"

"WELL ITS TRUE"

everyone just looked at each other, not saying a word. one of them screamed at the top of her lungs "LETS INTRODUCE OURSELVES. YOUVE ALREADY MET OLERACEA AND TRUNKS. GET READY FOR..."

the first person looked like one of new freiza's new soldiers on new namek. "NEW JEICE" said the one girl.

"oi mates" said new jeice. "i once pissed in the shadow of time's breakfast"

"wonderful. next up we have..."

this next person was a cat-like furry with light blue fur and a neon red t-shirt. "THIS PERSON IS BELLE. SHES SINGLE, READY TO MINGLE, AND COULD KILL ME."

belle looked over at lard beepus. "if you fight great ape baby with me please dress up as golden frieza. only if you hear me say this though if you dont thats okay. its fine thanks. im gay"

"WOW I DONT KNOW WHO THAT IS. ALRIGHT NOW YOU WILL NOT BE EXPECTING THIS NEXT PERSON AT ALL IT WILL BE A GREAT SURPRISE YOU WILL BE SHOCKED TO YOUR CORE. ITS ME. THE PRINCESS EATSHORTS NART. I CRAWLED INTO A EARTH POD. I WAS ADOPTED BY A FOOD ARTIST NAMED SAN GOHON. HES DEAD NOW THOUGH. AND LASTLY. WE HAVe. NOBODY ELSE I JUT WANTED TO GET YOUR HOPES UP. WELCOME TO THE FUTURE. NOTHING IS CHROME AND EVERYTHING SUCKS"

.

bulma was working on a spaceship. "you know its too bad that vegeta destroyed our other spaceships with his screams" she said to anybody who was listening.

"hows that god radar coming along" asked krillin

"its coming"

MASTER ROSHI BURST OUT OF THE OCEAN. "HEHEHE CUM"

"oh my god this is going to be a nightmare isnt it"

puar, who was also there, nodded. "yeah sorry. just to clarify im not apologizing to oolong im apologizing to you"

"i hope vegeta isnt getting himself killed"

.

VEGETA JUMPED INTO THE OCEAN. "OH SHIT IM GETTING MYSELF KILLED" HE SAID AS HE FOUGHT A JELLYFISH VERSION OF BEERUS

.

piccolo looked around. rubble was everywhere the sky was gray and master roshi was dead. "so how did this even start" he wondered allowed.

"well," began trunks "nobody knows where the shadow of time came from, so there really isnt an answer to that..." he stood up dramatically. "all we can do is fight to stay alive. and we will keep training until-"

A KI BLAST FIRED INTO THE AREA! WHAT LOOKED TO BE A HALF SAIYAN WITH MESSY BLACK HAIR A NEON PINK TAIL AND A VERY TACKY OUTFIT WAS UP IN THE AIR, HOLDING... A GUN!

"alright pals, if you wanna live, hand over all of your valuables!" she said aggresivly.

everyone looked at her and then at each other. "hey trunks do you know this girl" said oleracea"

"no"

"then shoo get outta here. we would like our supplies thank you very much"

"I WILL SHOOT YOU WITH A GUN NOW! BECAUSE YOU DID NOT COMPLY!"

the half saiyan bullets bounced harmlessly off everyone. she looked down at the gun. "im losing my touch arent i"


	24. chapter 22: im sick of the word 'time'

chapter 22: im sick of the word 'time'

the mysterious half saiyan girl dropped her gun and raised her hands. "okay, i surrender, please dont murder me"

"OKAY" yelled nart.

oleracea glared at nart. "dont speak for everyone buddy. i would be fine with still murdering her"

"FINE, LETS ASK LARD BEEPUS HIS OPINION, BECAUSE I LIKE HIM. I SUPPORT HIM IN HIS ENDEAVORS, AND I TOO LIKE TO YELL."

lard beepus stared at his hands/paws. he had to make his SECOND BIG DECISION! what would he do? he was going to be the new GOD OF DESTRUCTION, and he had to get used to murder and destruction, but he also wanted to let this girl who was gonna steal their stuff live. "SHE CAN STAY" HE SCREAMED.

.

vegeta flew throught the air, looking for goku. "i swear to me if kakarot took care of this AGAIN... I SHOULD BE THE ONE FIGHTING!" suddenly he saw a FOREST CLEARING FILLED WITH GARBAGE. "wow i dont care about this" BUT THEN HE SAW... A FAMILIAR SWORD ON THE GROUND OH SHOOT

.

the trio in tokitoki searched around for someone name fructose. there was a giant holographic statue of this person. he was whatever frieza is, and had ballin' sunglasses. "WHERE ARE YOU FRUCTOSE WE HAVEnt GOT ALL DAY WE GOTTA PATROL" SHOUTED GORG...

a bystander ran over to Gorg... and stared at him with hatred. "How dare you state the name of our lord and savior Jesus Christ in vain..." the bystander quickly went back to whatever he was doing.

"WOW" said Gorg... "THAT WAS FUCKED"

cillantra and welchs agreed.

"you know" said cilantro. "is it possible for me to just. quit. because sometimes i consider it"

"PLEASE DONT" YELLED GORG...

.

everyone back at the time pal campsite sort of just. stared at each other. "SO ARE WE GOING TO DO ANYTHING" SCREAMED LAR BEOPU

"no" replied belle

oleracea sighed. "why does everyone in this goddamn future speak for me. im gonna do something and that something is breaking your face with my bare hands"

"please dont"

"okay"

piccolo stood up. "thats it, im sick of just standing here and doing nothing. at the very least we should tell the others back at kame house whats going on."

goku, gohan, and trunks nodded. "yeah! and i really wanna fight" said goku. "i like fighting. fights are fun!"

"we... know."

"im just saying"

piccolo sighed. "lets just go back to the present"

everyone got into the time machine except for the mysterious saiyan girl. "HEY SO ARE YOU JUST GONNA IGNORE ME!? I DIDNT EVEN SAY MY NAME!"

belle looked over at her. "well what is your name mysterious friend"

"i am the great forest bandit!" she glanced around at her surroundings. "...well, more wasteland bandit..."

"well if youre coming along get in the danged time machine"

.

Gorg... spotted fructose getting groceries or something i dont know. "oh thank kamaiod its fructose" he said to himself. "FRUCTOSE WANNA PATROL"

the startled hero turned around. "uh, actually i was just getting groceries, and there really isnt any time anomalies at the moment i think-"

welchs floated over to him in a t-pose. "Well, since you're ready to go patrolling, let's go."

"wait i didnt agree to this please wait-" but it was too late. fructose was dragged off to the time nest.


	25. chapter 23: nest of murder

chapter 23: nest of murder

when fructose and friends(?) arrived at the time nest, they saw trunks and the supreme kai of time talking about something with worry. "i wonder what they're saying" said cilantra.

GORG... BURT IN AND YELLEd "WELCHS IS GOING TO KILL ME SOMEDAY PLEASE TRUNKS PLEASE KICK HIM OFF THE TIME PATROL"

cilantra buried her face in her hands, while fructose looked on in unsurprised horror.

welchs floated over to Gorg... and said "You know they've tried before. You know they cannot."

"WELL THEY CAN TRY iAND IF THEY DONT I WILL KICK YOU OFF MYSELF"

trunks sighed. "please dont do this, especially not right now.."

"REMOVE WELCHS REMOVE WELCHS REMOVE WELCHS REMOVE WELCHS REMOVE WELCHS REMOVE WELCHS REMOVE WELCHS REMOVE WELCHS REMOVE WELCHS REMOVE WELCHS REMOVE WELCHS REMOVE WELCHS REMOVE WELCHS REM-"

cilantra covered up Gorg...'s freaky babyface mouth. "and thats enough of that!" she looked over at trunks and the supreme kai of time in embarrasment. "sorry about that"

trunks replied with "its fine, and honestly its nothing new..."

"yeah the exact same thing happened yesterday"

"right now isnt the time to be worrying about that, however. something is causing major distortions in time, as well as just up and destroying timelines!"

.

trunks' time machine appeared RIGHT ON TOP OF KAME HOUSE HOLY SHIT. /I/ WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO RIDE NIMBUS AGAIN

THE TIME MACHINE CRUSHED MASTER ROSHI! AND HE WAS NOW DEAD! trunks and co didnt see that though

yamcha, krillin, puar, and bulma all escaped the house, unaware of master roshi's fate. they gasped in shock as they saw the FAMILIAR TIME MACHINE!

"isnt that trunks' time machine?! well, the future one" said bulma.

everyone else nodded, still surprised. "that definitely looks like it. last time we saw him was..." replied yamcha, remembering the horror of cell. the androids became truckers, lots of people died, it was awful "so why would he be back?"

"i dont know, but considering the circumstances last time, it probably isnt very good..." responded bulma as the time machine lid opened. then they saw... future trunks (duh), some complete randos, goku, gohan, piccolo, some kid that looked like goku, a ghost, and... THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION, LORD BEERUS!

"OH NO TRUNKS YOU HAVE TO WATCH OUT THAT GUY KILLED TURTLE!" YELLED YAMHCa.

HIS BEAUTIFUL CAT FRIEND SAID "YAMCHA, THIS IS WHAT WEVE BEEN TRAINING FOR! GET READY, WE WILL SAVE TRUNKS!"

trunks tried to speak, but was cut off by yamcha saying "i wonder why tien shinhan isnt here yet"

.

tien walked through a city, searching for chiaotzu. he could sense his friend"s ki, so it was much easier. eventually, he saw him, writing a letter.

"there you are chiaotzu" said tien. "where were you?"

"oh! i was writing to my pen pal!" chiaotzu held up the letter. "what have you been doing recently, tien? training?"

"training"

"training"

"but right now, theres a massive threat... THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION, LORD BEERUS, or someone similar, has killed turtle, and possibly others. we need to act fast!"

"oh no! what are we going to do? training?"

"training"

"training"

.

Gorg... was holding a time scroll with a puke yellow aura surrounding it. "IS THE TIME SCROLL SUPPOSED TO FEEL LIKE NICKELODEON SLIME? BECAUSE I DONT THINK THATS HOW SCROLLS SHOULD BE"

"ya think" said cilantra. "anyway so whos causing this so we can beat them up and go home"

trunks said "we can never see who is doing it, only the aftereffects of their actions... we need to find them before they disappear from the timeline!"

"oh god its like nettie duty all over again isnt it" mumbled a random time patroller who was eavesdropping. "man, that nettie kept trying to fix things, but only made em' daggone worse. glad shes gone"

"thanks for the exposition dump" said cilantra. "but you did just eavesdrop on our conversation. asshole"

"well fuck you too. also. i will find you, murder you, and eat your corpse and give the rest to the goddamned geese so you better make sure you think about who you bully and the consequences for doin' so, parder" the guy left.

"WHAT JUST HAPPENED" YELLED GORG...

fructose shrugged. "i dont know but i didnt like it. everyone is acting very mean today,"

"I THINK IT WAS THE SAME GUY WHO CALLED YOU JESUS"

everyone in the room except for the supreme kai of time just said "oh" in complete understanding.

the supreme kai of time fell over. she was a cardboard cutout


	26. chapter 24: misunderstanding

chapter 24: misunderstanding

ACTUALLY before we start the chapter i wanted to say that im changing my brand up a bit. i think i should interact with the lard beepus fanbase more so ghere i am. my name is akira toriyama and welcome to my fanfiction. now i will be replying to your comments

trunkssan766: this is my fiction, lard beepus

ssgss aym: "keep up the good work"

havarti2: my story is not bad. but dont worry more will be coming

bloodwristxxx: thank you for your support. but you sead breast by accident so please watch your spelling

guest: thank you, but also FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUFUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUFUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUFUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUFUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

alright thats it for this comment corner. submit a review if you have a question or anything youd like to say. anyway. onto the story.

chapter 24: misunderstanding

everybody in the time nest looked at the cardboard cut out on the ground. "WOW" said Gorg... "WHERES THE /REAL/ DIRTY DAN"

"what" asked cilantra

"you really shouldnt ask him that anymore" said trunks. "you know he'll always just insult you if you ask that"

"He's right, you know." ominously stated welchs. "He was born from trash, lived in trash, and will die. In trash."

cilantra uncomfortably avoided eye contact with welchs. "so why was the supreme kai of time a cardboard cutout"

before trunks could say anything, the supreme kai of time left her hiding place in the time nest. "i was hiding from tokitoki. hes been trying to rip my hair out recently, and i think he may also have bird flu as well. and rabies"

"birds cant get rabies"

"tokitoki can"

"why would you KNOW this"

.

EVERYBODY GOT READY TO ATTACK LARD BEEPUS! "oh shit" yelled belle.

"well, chums, this looks like the end. again" said WHISper with sadness. "its been a pleasure helping you, lard beepus"

THE PEOPLE ON KAME HOUSE JUMPED AT LARD BEEPUS, READY TO ATTACK! but trunks got in the way and they stopped. "actually, dont kill him!"

"huh why" asked puar.

piccolo went over. "look, apparently, we're all gonna die, and this bootleg god of destruction has to help us or something like that. these assholes are from the future,someone is destroying timelines, and this sucks a lot"

suddenly, lard beepus saw a familiar face. "...YAMCHA I CANT BELIEVE YOUR ALIVE A?AIN"

oleracea grabbed lard beepus just as he ewas about to run over to yamcha. "time travel you idiot. the yamcha you met is dead. like, deader than dead. hese been roasted. the shadow of time pissed in his metaphorical breakfast. hes dead, buddy."

new jeice GRABBED OLERACEAS WRIST AND BROKE IT. "shut up wanker thats my line"

princess eatshorts nart looked around. "BOY DO I WANNA CAUSE SOME TROUBLE" SHE BLEW UP KAME HOUSE, ALONG W ITH MASTER ROSHIS ROTTING OLD MAN CORPSE/ but then BELLE SUPLEXED HER the great forest bandit was stealing everything from the remains of kame house. trunks curled up into the fetal postition.

"you know," said bulma. "if you, goku, piccolo, and gohan werent here, i wouldnt believe that these guys were meant to save the universe for a second"

suddenly, TIEN AND CHIAOTZU SHOWED UP! THEY GASPED! "oh no tien, we were too late!" but then piccolo explained everything again. "oh ok"

trunks said "could everyone please stop doing that" everyone stopped. "thank you"

"MY WRIST IS BROKEN" SCREAMED OLERACEA

.

on new namek, the shadow of time found an empty cave. he sniffed it. "i smell their time residue... they mustve returned to the past with purple hairs time machine."

he warped to the future, but he didnt see them. "i told dark future yamcha to elimanate them... WHERE IS HE" he flew off to find dark future yamcha.

.

dark future yamcha arrived back at the shadow of times evil time lair,and pulled a framed picture out of his cloak, it was of him and puar cooking. he sighed and put it back. "well, the shadow of time probably is expecting dinner."

he walked into the shadow of times dark evil kitchen, that had eyeballs and blood and organs everywhere. "i miss working on my hit tv show, KITTEN KITCHEN with puar... when wil i see him again? will he even still care about me? i should've never taken this job..."

.

meanwhile, future puar was on his film set, with future yajirobe. future yajirobe said "ALRIGHT THIS CONSTANT SENSU BEAN DIET IS DRIVINGME NUTS! IM GONNA FIND A CORPSE TO EATNOW"

"YAJIROBE NO" screamed future puar but it was too late, he already left. puar sighed and looked at a framed image on the wall, of him and yamcha. "i hope yamcha is alright... i havent seen him in 5 years... KITTEN KITCHEN just isnt the same without him...

.

yamcha left the kitchen, and looked out the window. he had been separated from puar 5 years ago, because the shadow of time attacked them... then he was forced to work for the shadow of time, and his heart turned dark. but the truth was, he just wanted to be with puar again.

"a stove, is a stove... no matter where you go..."

.

"a patty, is a patty... thats what i say..."

.

"a grill, is a grill, this is surely so"

.

"and fries, should be fries, either way"

.

"but this grill is not a home! this is not the stove i know!"

.

"i'd trade it all away, if youd come back to stay!"

.

"this kitchens not the same without you!"

"it's just a greasy spoon"

(just a greasy spoon)

"without you..."

.

suddenly, as yamcha and puar finished their unknowing duet, yamcha heard a knock on the door. "oh, that must be the shadow of time." he said to himself. he opened the door and saw a VERY ANGRY SHADOW OF TIME.

"you know what youve done? you've pissed in my metaphorical breakfast. you let those time idiots escape, and who knows where they are now"

"i couldnt beat them, they were too buff..."

"WELL THEN GET BUFF YOU ABSOLUTE OAF"


	27. chapter 25: the gang's all here

chapter 25: the gang's all here

"good thing i still had one of those" said WHISper as he gave a sensu bean to oleracea.

lard beepus looked at him strangeley. "YOU KNOW WHISPER" he screamed. "YOU NEVER DID ANSWER MY QUESTION. WHERE DID YOU GEt THE BEAN"

WHISper turned around, his expression blank and vacant. "there are some questions that shouldn't be asked, my friend."

"WHAT"

WHISper ignored him and gave the sensu bean to oleracea. "thanks or whatever" said the injured spinach man. he took a CRONCH at the bean and his wrist was healed. "okay now im gonna kill new jeice"

"ACTUALLY PLEASE DONT"

"okay"

.

dark future yamcha trained a lot. HE WAS NOW DARK BUFF

the shadow of time walked over to him. "wow you didnt even cook me anything. thats not polite. oh well anyway find the time travelers. my guess is that they went to the timeline where they sent their yamcha."

dark future yamcha remembered how he was from a different timeline, where things were nice. so was future puar. but not future yajirobe and future korin. but he was dragged from his timeline for his streanght.

"go we dont have all day"

"i will"

.

"so what are we supposed to do to beat this 'shadow of time guy'" asked yamcha.

"well, we train of course then when he shows up we punch him really hard" replied belle.

"i can do that"

lard beepus thought for a moment, then spoke up. "WAIT" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "WHO WILL DEAL WITH NEW FRIEZA"

"we could split up" said belle."some of us could go stop new frieza, and the rest of us could go stop the shadow of time"

"GREAT IDEA! BUT WHO WILL GO WITH WHO?" lard beepus thought a little more. "ALRIGHTI KNOW WHO WILL GO WITH WHO"

"ALRIGHT SO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO STOP THE SHADOW OF TIME ARE..."

"ME, THE LEADER, LARD BEEPUS"

"GOKU, THE GOOD PAL WHO LIKES FIGHTING"

"THE ZOMBIE, YAMCHA"

yamcha turned around. "wait, what!?"

"THE ROYALTY, PRINCESS EATSHORTS NART"

"THE WEIRD EYEBALL GUY AND HIS TINY SIDEKICK... WHATS YOUR NAMES"

tien said "tien. and this is chiaotzu"

"TIEN AND CHIAOTZU"

"PICCOLO, NAMED AFTER A WOODWIND INSTRUMENT"

"AND THE RIPPED ONE, PUAR"

puar looked over at oolong smugly. "see oolong, he gets it"

oolong sighed. "you do not have rippling muscles."

"NOW THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO STOP NEW FRIEZA ARE AS FOLLOWS."

"MY BELOVED ASSOCIATE, WHISPER"

"THE 'INTERESTING' GOHAN"

"THE TIME TRAVELER, TRUNKS"

"arent we all time travelers?" asked belle

"THE SCIENCE LADY, BUALM"

"its bulma!" said bualm, facepalming.

"THE ONE WHO DRESSES UP AS GOLDEN FRIEZA AND IS ALSO GAY, BELLE"

"THE THIEF, THE GREAT FOREST BANDIT"

"NEW JEICE"

"Gorg... MY BUDDY"

"and. oleracea the rest of you protect the planet"

oolong said "im glad i wasnt called on"

"if you got called on i would kill you" said puar.

"of course."

belle counted everyone. "the new namek group has one less than the shadow of time group..."

a lightbulb appeared over gohans head. he grabbed it and SHOVED IT IN HIS GODDAAMN MOUTH AND /CRUNCH/ "well, i know someone who could help us"

"really? who is it?"

"its a drinking buddy of mine. his name is konkichi"

/drinking buddy?/ thought bulma. /geez, gohans really gone downhill, huh/

goku suddenly jumped up. "wait, i know who that is! i met him when i was a kid! he once was a theif, but he decided to become a teacher!"

"well clearly that didnt happen" said gohan. "he says hes unemployed and cant get a single job. he failed school so he couldnt become a teacher"

"oh..."

the awkward silence was broken by everyone who could sense ki sensing A BIG POWER UH OH

"well thats not good" said gohan. "where did it come from?"

yamcha got up. "everyone, get ready to fight. THIS IS WHAT WE TRAINED FOR!"

"YEAH!" said puar, high fiving yamcha. "nobody else? ...ugh, everyones mean to yamcha..."

SUDDENLY, A GIANT BLAST WAS FIRED AT GOKU! IT WAS SURROUNDED BY DARKNESS!

"GOKU NO!" SHOUTED YAMCHA. "I CANT BELIEVE IT... HES DEAD! HIS KI IS GONE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"stop freaking out. hes fine" said tien. the dust cleared and they could sense gokus ki again.

"im fine guys!" said their friend goku

"oh. i guess that was some pretty intense dust huh"

the HORRIBLE PERSON WHO SHOT GOKU REVEALED HIMSELF! "DONT IGNORE ME! IN THE NAME OF THE SHADOW OF TIME YOU WILL BE KILLED!"

EVERYONE GASPED! "IT WAS THE GUY WHO ATTACKED US AT THE CAMPSITE!" YELLED BELLE. haha, yelled belle. "WE'RE GONNA DIE"

then the guy looked at Gorg... and screamed again. he flew away in panic.

"so much for killing us in the name of the shadow of time" said piccolo.

"THAT GUY RAN AWAY FROM ME AGAIN WHATS WITH THAT" said Gorg...

just then, trunks realised something. "if the shadow of time sent that guy... then they know where we are!"

.

at the time nest, everyone just sort of sat around. "so are we going to deal with the time anomalies or what" asked cilantra.

"I don't know about you, but I'm going to go to the weed shack. I wish to get BALLS HIGH" said welchs. he then disappeared. EVERYONE SCREAMED


	28. chapter 26: time 2 panic

alright so only one review this time on question corner. also. as a bit of trivia. i lied to you about lard beepus' voice in the first chapter. he does not sound like a pitched down beerus at reality (hes real) he sounds like scratch from the adventures of sonic the hedgehog/ now that thats out of the way lets answer that question

: well, hello there. my name is akira toriyama, and i write lard beepus. you have in fact been noticed

anyway. onto the chapter

chapter 26: time 2 panic

cilantra said "WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN EVERY TIME. EVERY TIME HE GOES THERE JUST TO KILL OOLONG! ITS LIKE HE WANTS THE MULTIVERSE TO END"

"he does" replied Gorg...

"oh, right"

"me and fructose and you just wanted to do some good patrolling and then suddenly welchs ruins everything"

"actually, uh, Gorg..." said fructose before trailing off. hed rather not make this situation worse

"well. time to beat up welchs"

.

"what do we do?" said bulma.

"i think we should think of something!" said tien.

before they could, vegeta returned with trunks' sword and then saw trunks. "well that sorted itself out. why is he here again"

"someone destroying time" said bulma

gohan said "we better not stick around. the shadow of time is probably after us. to the bar!"

.

dark future yamcha sighed and returned to the shadow of times lair. "sorry... i failed again" he said.

"why was it this time?"

"uh... they were too strong again, but hey three times the charm right"

"whatever just actually kill them this time"

"this will be the last time i return without several corpses" and with that, dark future yamcha flew off.

"HEY WAIT YOU STILL DIDNT COOK MY- ugh i guess im going without dinner"

.

gohan opened the bar door and entered it with his friends. the bartender half-heartedly waved at him, while nobody else in the bar seemed to notice.

shattered bottles of acohol littered the ground, and several people were passed out. one guy said "hey wanna see how far i can spit my drink" and spat it directly at oleracea.

"hey. lets go this isnt worth it" said oleracea as he headed out the door.

"GOOD RIDDANCE" shouted lard beepus, before new jeice stopped oleracea from leaving. "COME ON WHY"

"i know hes a real bloody pissmuncher but he aint leaving. he has brute strength" replied new jeice

"fair enough" sighed lard beepus

this conversation was interrupted by tien suddenly saying "wait, isnt that..."

everyone looked over in the direction tien was looking. at the bar, they saw a girl with nessy blond hair green eyes and a red ribbon. not a red ribbon red ribbon, just a regular red ribbon.

the girl turned around and gasped. "tien shinhan!?"

.

future puar sighed as he floated over to the camera. "why do we even still record this?" he asked yajirobe. "nobody has television anymore, and radios were abandoned before this happened" yajirobe refused to respond. "im not getting an answer am i"

"nope"

just then, THE RECORDING STUDIOS WALLS WERE BROKEN DOWN AND SOME CLOAKED FIGURES RAN OVER WITH SPECIAL STRONG POLICE CUFFS. well, strong enough to hold yajirobe anyway "YOURE UNDER ARREST!"

"huh? why!?" gasped future puar.

"WELL ONE, YOU ARENT WEARING A CLOAK. AND TWO, YOUR GOING AGAINST THE DIRECT ORDERS OF THE SHADOW OF TIME."

"and what are those orders we're supposedly breaking?"

"NO FUN ALLOWED"

"shit"

SUDDENLY! YAJIROBE SHOUTED "IM ABOVE THE LAW" AND TRIED TO BREAK THE CUFFS. he failed "WELL SHIT"

the handcuffs fell right off future puar because they were too big. "IM SORRY YAJIROBE BUT I CANT SAVE YOU. ACTUALLY! IM NOT SORRY AT ALL" he saw one of the future policecars and JUMPED INTO IT! "if only i remembered how to drive a car" HE PRESSED EVERY BUTTON AND IT STARTED SPEEDING OFF!

"PUAR YOU ASSHOLE" SCREAMED YAJIROBE AS PUAR MADE HIS GETAWAY, LEAVING HIM BEHIND

"GET HIM!" SHOUTED THE POLICE AS THEY GOT INTO THEIR CARS. one of them had to stay behind and watch yajirobe. yajirobe snapped his neck, even handcuffs on. he grabbed the corpse and ran away in the opposite direction, as the rest of the police chased puar. he would have a meal tonight

PUAR LOOKED BEHIND HIM AND SAW THE POLICE GAINING ON HIM! "HOLY SHIT" HE SCREAMED. HE WILL NEVER RIDE FUTURE NIMBUS AGAIN HE STEPPED ON THE GAS PEDAL HARDER, AND WHEN THAT WASNT ENOUGH, HE PUT HIS ENTIRE BODY ON IT

"SLOW DOWN OR WE WILL SHOOT YOU! WITH DARK FUTURE GUNS!"

PUAR GASPED! "I NEVER TRAINED! GUNS STILL WILL KILL ME!" BUT HE COULDNT GIVE UP. HE COULDNT SEE WHERE HE WAS GOING EITHER! THE CAR HE WAS IN SPIRALED OUT OF CONTROL AND FELL OFF OF A CLIFF!

the police got out of their cars and looked down. "so who thinks hes dead" asked one

another one said "CHECK YOU OAF" and pushed the other one off of the cliff

.

"i never thought id see you again tien! last time i saw ya, you were dead!" said the girl.

tien simply responded with "dragon balls"

"oh, right"

lard beepus looked at her confused. "NOT TO ASK THE OBVIOUS QUESTION BUT WHO IS THIS"

bulma said "thats launch. after tien died, she just vanished and we never saw her again."

"well, i've been takin' my allergy medication now so i sneeze less" said launch.

"i'm worried to ask which version of you"

launch squinted at her, and everyone who knew launch flinched. nothing happened though.

"WHYS EVERYONE SCARED OF HER" screamed lard beepus.

belle whispered "on the contrary, im actually really gay for her"

.

Gorg... returned with welchs, who was beaten up. "i know i was supposed to heal him with a sensu bean before i came back but fuck welchs"


	29. chapter 27uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu: konkichi

alright everybody akira toriyama is back. no reviews today, but i do want to announce the winners of the contest i announced in chapter 13. those results will be at the end of the chapter so stay tuned. anyway here is the fic

chapter 27uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu: konkichi.

weclh's absorbed the green bean that was hesitantly handed to him by fructose. "You know, your first mistake was healing me." he said, before floating into the air. "Your second mistake was beating me up in the first place." he glared directly at Gorg... "And your third mistake was-"

"no more of that" said cilantra. "anyway. we should do what we were planning on doing probably so i can go home and not have to see welchs for another day. i fear for my life every time i work with him"

"agreed" said Gorg...

.

"so what brings ya here anyway tien? never thought you to be the drinking type" said launch, before downing an entire bucket of beer.

gohan said "well actually we were looking for konkichi. is he here?"

"konkichi? nope. he said he'd be dumpster divin'. personally i'd just ransack a store for that but whatever."

belle thought for a moment. "well, that isn't ideal, but not a dealbreaker"

bulma looked at her confused. "dealbreaker for what?"

"nevermind lol"

"HEY" screamed laed beepus. "WHAT DOES LOL MEAN"

"that does not matter right now" said WHISper. "what matters now is finding konkichi. gohan, bulma, belle, beepus, tien, oleracea, new jeice we need 2 leave"

"yeah okay" said oleracea before sliding out the door.

"wait!" said launch. "tien, there's so much we gotta catch up on!"

tien stopped. "well, uh..." he said awkwardly, trailing off.

"hold on maybe she could come along and then we could explain everything along the way" said belle.

"guess i'm up for it" said launch before getting up. just then BROLY BURST IN THROUGH THE DOOR launch grabbed and gun and fired it at the ceiling scaring him away "alright let's go"

.

future puar woke up on a familiar island with a broken down house. "isn't this kame house?" he said to himself. "maybe. i think" he saw a strange glowing and pulsating orb that was rapidly changing colors in the center of the wreckage. the closer to it he got the higher he got. "yeah nevermind its drugs"

he heard a nearby voice. "hey i've got some tobacco i could supply you with"

"HOLY Shout IT'S ME"

.

"so you fought a god?" asked launch. goku nodded. "sick"

gohan said "well whats been going on right now is that theres someone destroying timelines and also there is a new frieza"

"oh come on! what a cop-out"

"yeah i know"

"by the way im a space alien"

"wait /what/"

"yeah apparently im the legendary super saiyan or somethin'. personally i think it's stupid. but my gun can now blow up the planet if i wanted to"

everyone recoiled in horror. "th-thats nice," said bulma. "v-very good to hear!"

"since when was launch a saiyan" whispered tien with shock and confusion. and ?FEAR

"eh, don't know if i'll ever have to use it."

awkward silence filled the air as they continued walking at a leisurely pace. "I WONDER HOW EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING" shouted lard beepus

.

oolong looked over at the wreckage of kame house. "so i just realized something. wasnt master roshi in there"

"yeah he was" said puar

"well shit hes dead now"

.

eventually they saw a light green fox furry digging in a dumpster. goku immediately recognized him. "konkichi! it's me!"

the furry turned around to look at him.

"hey! it's me! goku!"

"brotha'!?"

without further ado... here are the winners of the lard beepus fanfiction contest

3\. scяεαмs σ' sнα∂σωs by ~jesuslovesme~

summary: The future is a grim place for even those working for the shadow of time. Future Puar x Dark future Yamcha, r&r, T just in case, MxM, Don't like dont read!

rating: k

pairings: future puar x dark future yamcha, future yajirobe x future korin

akira commentoriyama: the story is very long and very depressing and will leave you on the edge of your feat. the'res death, gore, angst, no lemons though which is good because i am two yeares (coutn em, two) old. very good but if you hope for a happy ending for future puar and dark future yamcha don't read this fic. at least future yajirobe and future korin get a happy ending. although one i thing i want to mention is that future yajirobe does not exist, actually. it's always been present yajirobe manipulating the time stream to his every whim. sad fic

author's commentary: i wanted to take a break fro my brainPOP fanfiction, forbidden desires, and i though "oh hey what a scrumptios dandy idea to write" and i did it. also the title got mess Maned up a bit but whatever. Moby is M

2\. Super Saiyan... Dog? by animazingPanic2931

summary: Courage is with his elderly owners, Muriel and Eustace, when an odd danger arrives, saying he is looking for a "Super Saiyan God". The bad news is, the one who arrived is in fact a god, and will not hesitate to blow up everything if he so pleases. The good news? Courage found a way to possibly save Muriel, and possibly the entire world. But how is he going to keep the god entertained, Eustace from doing something he will regret, and find this "Super Saiyan God" in time?

rating: k+

pairings: bulma x the black death

akira commentoriyama: so. this fic is a super fuc. ing long read. took me two weaks. im Weak. Im Weak. I'm weak. I'm weak! Lard beepus isn't even in it! 10/?. Great! :) I sure love B

author's commentary: i don't know why everytime i try to write the usmmary is says that one of the pairings is bulma x the black death. bulma isn't even IN this story. for the past three Weaks figurines of various dragon ball characters have been physically manifesting inmy house. i don't remember entering this contest. i've never even READ lard beepus. send help

and number one...

1\. Belle's blind dating show! by 13launchismygirlfriend666

summary: Needing to get money to fund the gang's journey to New Namek (after capsule corp was robbed dry,) Belle takes advice from Yamcha and Puar, who tell her to start a TV show. And what is that show? Belle's Blind Dates! She begins setting up all of her friends on, often bizarre, blind dates! T because Warrior Cats.

rating: t

pairings: there's a lot of them but the biggest ones are yamcha x puar and yajirobe x korin

akira commentoriyama: splendid.

author's commentary: I am gay, gay gay, I love long big Cockatoos i am Super Super DRAGON BALL SUPER

it was very hard picking from the list because there were so many (like 4) so if you were in the top three be proud! to anyone outside of the first three places you get the participation trophy of death. you get put to sleep now the prizes as follow:

for third place a clay and pipe cleaner figurine of lard beepus, signed by yours truly

for second place a lunch with mr satan an akira toriyama (me) and a clay and pipe cleaner figurine of lard beepus, signed by yours truly

and finally for first place a lifetime supply of cheetos, tangerines, and molasses, a lunch with mr satan an akira toriyama (me) and a clay and pipe cleaner figurine of lard beepus, signed by yours truly

congratulations everyone!


	30. chapter 28: yipes

alright so once again nobody has given me ANY reviews and thats not nice so please review tell me what you like and love about the story and ask me questions about the characters and worldbuilding and that kind of thing. ANYWAY the fic is here, now

LAST TIME ON THE STORY OF LARD BEEP...

future puar got himself in a sticky situation, while lard beepus and some of his friends set off to find konkichi with newcomer launch. and, in the time patrol, welch's, fructose, cilantra, and Gorg... finally started doing what they were there to do in the first place seriously guys its been like an hour. soon, the lard beepus gang found konkichi, but meanwhile, hasky has lost all of her money through on earth is she gonna get out of that one it was pachinko fuck man

chapter 82: yipes

"its been so long, brotha'! i cant believe its really you!" said konkichi overjoyed.

goku smiled and said "its good to see you again too, konkichi!" but afterwards there was an awkward silence. "im sorry that you couldnt become a teacher..."

"i failed you, brotha'... just look at me! now im just a petty dumpster diver..."

lard beapr gave him a reassuring pat on the bat. "ITS OKAY IM A DUMPSTER DIVER TOO"

"no youre not" siad WHISper

"WELL DUMPSTER DIVING IS COOL AND I WANNA BE A PROFESIONAL DUMPSTER DIVER SOMEDAY"

"i thought you wanted to be the god of destruction"

"OH RIGHT"

everyone but launch and WHISper gasped. "wait what"

launch applauded. "holy shit thats SICK"

lard bespaus glanced between launch and everyone else. "I MEAN I WANNA GET BUFF"

"well then im gonna be the new god of destruction"

most of lard beepus's friends tried to pretend they didnt hear that exchange. they failed "anyway brotha' what's happening? also hey gohan"

"well gohan, my son, said you could help us with something!"

konkichi gasped. "gohan's your son?!"

"does that mean your his uncle?"

everyone else looked on with confusion. "arent we here because you said he could help us?" said tien

"oh right" said goku. "gohan can you tell him about whats going on"

gohan nodded. "so apparently theres someone called the shadow of time destroying timelines killing people and being a general pain"

"wait but how am i supposed to help" asked konkichi

"...you could watch lard beepus. hes a baby boy"

"I AM A BABY BOY" SHOUTED LARd beepus

.

"HOLY SHIT ITS BROLY" SCREAMED GORG... AS HE WAS PUNCHED INTO A WALL. he will never ride nimbu "IM OKAY" he yelled.

"dammit! whoever's causing this stuff got away AGAIN!" said cilantra, before realizing she got the attention of broly. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-" BROLY BEGAN CHARGING AT HER FULL SPEED REDY TO EBAT HER UP AND TJAKE HER LUNCH MONEY

fructose, who had previously been fighting super saiyan god hercule, turned around to see broly AT FULL SPEED REDY TO EBAT HER UP AND TAKE HER LUNCH MONEY! "heck!" he said, before quickly dashing over and whacking broly away.

"heck?" said Gorg... "is that the strongest swear you can say?"

"i mean i could say a stronger swear word if i wanted to"

welch's fired a ki blast at Gorg... "I want Fructose to not swear, simply because you seem to want him to."

"whyd you do that welch's?! we're supposed to be working together!" said fructose.

"You know why. I hate Gorg with every ounce of my being. You should know this, considering you've worked with me for quite a while. However, this time it was really for no reason."

"well you can't just do that! what about broly and-"

Gorg... flew up in front of welch's. "ITS ON MOTHERFCUKCER"SHOUTED GORG...

"Have fun landing a single punch on me shitlickekr." ominously insulted welch's.

"YOU LOOK LESS APPEALING THAN... BOOBIDI, WHO WE MET IN THE PREVIOUS TIMELINE. THANKS READERS FOR SUPPORTING LARD BEEPSUPA-"

"Is that really the best you could come up with?"

"YOU LOOK WORSE THAN PACMAN WITH NO MOUTH"

"Take that back, Dickweed." said welch's.

"ON YOUR LIFE SHITHEAD"

CILANTRA INTERRUPTED THE TWO BY SCREAMING "BROLY" ALL FOUR OF THEM REALIZED TOO LATE AS BROLY SELF DESTRUCTED "ITS TOO LATE THE TIMELINES GONNA DIE"

future trunks sighed as he watched the time scroll. "why are we correcting these again? it seems that they're already beyond the point of return?"

just outside the time vault THE SUPREME KAI OF TIEM SC REAMED AS TOKITOKI FFLEW STRAIGHT AT HER "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

.

future puar stared at the other puar with an intense look in his eyes. "you must be an imposter... im sorry, but there can only be one" he said, before brandishing a longsword. "EN GARDE, MORTIS 'PUAR'" HE SAID BEFORE JUMPING AT THE OTHER PUAR! HE SWUNG HIS SWORD AT HIM, BUT GASPED IN HORROR AS IT BROKE UPON CONTACT WITH HIS BACK "SHouT" HE SHOUTED

the other puar turned around. "you cant defeat me. i have RIPPLING MUSCLES" A BRIGHT BLUE AURA FLAARED UP AROUND THE IMPUARSTER! "i dont actually wanna fight you though"

future puar dropped his broken sword. "wait what but your impersonating me thats identity theft"

"no im you from another timeline. or outside of time."

"oh neat" future puar kept up his guard. "wait how can i believe you. show me something that only i would do"

"wanna team up with me to kill oolong and break the rules of reality"

"well i guess you are me. absolutely"

"alright come with me. i've got snacks" the other puar jumped into the pulsating orb, and future puar uneasily followed.

.

yajirobe had finished eating and now he was in a desolate clearing with a giant pillar reaching up into the sky. "i know youre here future korin you bastard" he said to himself as he grabbed a hookshot. he shot it upwards and then it began falling back downwards "OH SHI

.

gohan had been filling konkichi in on all of the stuff that had happened as of recent. "and then we found out that king kai caught god flu and unfortunately passed away, but since hes already in otherworld it didnt really matter too much"

konkichi thought for a bit. "oh wait i know someone else who caught god flu. but he died"

bulma said "wait, who... you know a god!?"

"it was some artist name gun sohan. i ate one of his paintings once and i found out the guy who painted it died afterwards and regretted it"

gohan stared at konkichi. "uh..." he looked over at everyone who had came along. "whos going to tell Gorg...?"

no response

lard beepus was sitting down, looking anxious. "whats wrong?" asked belle. "if its about Gorg...'s dad i'll tell him. you dont need to worry about it!"

"NO ITS NOT THAT" screamed lard beapus like usual. "ITS JUST THAT I FEEL LIKE WE FORGOT SOMETHING"

belle tilted her head. "like what?"

"LIKE... OH SHIT WE LEFT EVERYONE ELSE BACK AT KAME HOUSE"

"and- OH SHIT" REALIZED BELLE. "THE SHADOW OF TIME KNOWS THEIR EXACT LOCATION WE NEED TO GET BACK /NOW/"

EVERYONE ELSE REALIZED THIS AND PANICKED AS WELL. "why is it that we always seem to forget the important things!?" ask-shouted tien.

"that dont matter now mates, what matters is getting back before the shadow of time makes minceat outta' 'em!" said new jeice. "if only new burter hadnt been a right shithead, we could'a been back by now"

"i know!" said goku. "i can fly really fast!"

"then what are ya' waitin' for?! do it!" said launch. they set off really fast

.

yajirobe finished bandaging up his now missing eye. "alright NOW im gonna find you future korin. then you'll have to face your sins" he began running up the tower. he was really fast but the tower was tall... can he make it? find out next time in dragon ba

.

after recovering from their unfortunate incident, the time patrollers were back to patrolling. "now this time guys please dont fight. we're supposed to be a team!" said fructose

"YEAH A TEAM SO YOU CAN MAKE SURE WELCH'S DOESNT RUIN EVERYTHING" said Gorg...

any further arguing was interrupted by dark sheriff 17 firing a ki blast at the air with a gun. "now listen here parter youve got two seconds to reconsider steppin' on this here turf before i kill ya' and feed ya to the cows"

"i miss when the time distortions were just like, a slightly stronger raditz or something" lamented cilantra.

"well at least we're all together as a team!" said fructose.

Gorg... proceeded to toss welch's at dark sheriff 17 knocking the android over like a bowling pin. "I WARNED Y'ALL" HE SAID BEFORE SHOOTING AT THEM

"that MAKES IT WORSE" SAID CILANTRA BEFORE BEING HIT IN THE FACE DIRECTLY BY A KI BLAST WHICH THEN PROCEEDED TO EXPLODE, LAUNCHING THE TIME PATROLLERS

"WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAIN" SCREAMED GORG...

.

lard beepus and the gang arrived at kame house, and immedaialtye looked around for their friends. "IS EVERYONE ALRIGHT" asked lras db epus. he then looked out from behind the rubble of kame house to see... THE CLOAKED FIGURE FROM BEFORE FLOATING OVER A BURNT BAG! AND ALSO SEVERAL PEOPLE WERE INJURED!

the strange figure has arrived again, and he seems to have done something bad! what will happen to our heroes! where are the time patrollers gonna end up? ANED WHY DOES YAJIROBE SEEM TO HATE FUTURE KORIN!? find out next time on the story of lard beepus


	31. chapter 29: REDACTED

**hey again guys. im. fine lets do this beepus thing right now PLEASE COMMENT IM S**

 **last time on the tale of that beeping kid...**

 **konkichi caught up with the situation, and now the roster for the team going to new namek is complete. however, there's unfortunate news to be told about Gorg...'s adoptive dad, gun sohan, who has perished. elsewhere, the time patrol is bad at their job future puar has teamed up with the other puar to do bad things. like murder. when lard beepus and friends returned to the wrecked kame house, they found the cloaked figure and their friends injured! what will happen!?**

 **CHAPTER 29 DNIM NI TI PEEK**

EVERYONE GASPED IN HORROR AT THE SIGHT OF THE CLOAKED FIGURE! HE WAS DARKER, BUFFER, AND MORE FUTURER THAN BEFORE LARD BEEPUS SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS "I WONT LET YOU HARM MY FRIENDS!" LARD EBPSU LAUNCHED HIMSELF FULL SPEED AT THE FIGURE and bounced off harmlesly "OH S-" he looked over at WHISper, who was watching in shock. "OH SHouT-" THEN HE WAS PUNCHED BY THE FIGURE "THANKS FOR LETTING ME CENSOR MYSELF" BEFORE FLYING OFF INTO THE DISTANCE

WHISper flew over to his new son. "lard beepus pelase... speak to me! are you alright!?"

"OUCH im okay"

"oh phew" the two turned to see what everyone else would do. "i wish i could fight" said WHISper to himself

launch loaded her gun. "stand back because there will be no more cloaked guy after this" SHE FIRED AT THE CLOAKED FIGURE but. she loaded the egun with bullets so it did nothing. "shit let me fix that-" but then she sneezed AND HER HAIR TURNED BLUE! she dropped the gun. "huh? what am i doing here?"

before launch had the time to see what was going on, THE CLOAKED FIGURE FIRED A KI BLAST AT HER! tien jumped in the way before it could hit her. when the dust cleared HE WAS OUT COLD!

"you'd think with how many people are here we'd be able to take care of this guy" said WHISper.

belle looked over to WHISper. "im the strongest one of the future pals but even i know that fighting this guy is a lost cause, even with the strength we're at! and it also seems like some of us are missing!"

gohan froze in horror. "you're right!"

.

yajirobe was pulling himself up korin tower at rapid speeds. "korin you cat bastard" he muttered to himself. "first you hire an assassin to kill- haha ass ass in" JUST THEN A GUY STANDING ON A PILLAR FLEW STRAIGHT AT HIM KNOCKING HIM OFF KORIN TOWER "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" THEY BOTH PLUMMETED

"I DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT IM NOT LETTING YOU STOP ME FROM GETTING TO THE TOP" SHOUTED YAJIROBE BEFORE SLICING THE GUY IN HALF WITH HIS SWORD BEFORE HE COULD REACT. THEN HE DUG THE SWORD INTO THE TOWER STOPPING HIS FALL. "who wears 'kill you' on the back of their clothes anyway" he continued climbing as if nothing happened

.

"i cant believe we totaled an entire airship" said Gorg..., scarfing down a delicous sensu bean.

"I can." said welch's who was staring directly at him with nothing but pure animosity. "And soon I will total another one with your corpse."

"OKAY SO MAYBE NOT RIGHT NOW GUYS?" interrupted cilantra. "OR EVER, THATD BE GREAT TOO"

fructose counted on his fingers. "1... 2... i think this is the 8th time weve been launched, beaten up, or messed up in some third way... in the past hour!" he concluded, sad. "well we can always try again right?"

"actually," began Gorg... "i think the problem is that welch's is STILL on our team. actually. the problem is that hes even in the time patrol."

welch's floated over to Gorg... ominously and grabbed him by the collar. "It seems that you have been so blinded by your animosity towards me that you have failed to realize that the true problem is yourself."

"YEAH NO YOURE THE PROBLEM," SAID GORG... "IF YOU DO NOT LET GO OF MY SHIRT COLLAR IN THE NEXT 5 SECONDS I WILL TEAR YOU INTO TWO CLEAN HALVES AND FEED TO THE FROGS IN TOKITOKI"

"And I will crush you into a tiny cube and toss you into the garbage either way-"

cilantra ran in between the two feuding idiots. "STOP THAT!" she yelled before expelling a very very very weak pulse of ki, just enough to seperate the two who were out for blood. she flinched as welch's turned to look directly at her.

"Maybe the real problem as of right now," he began. "Is you, Cilantra."

"can you stop hating Gorg... for one second and- huh"

Gorg... ran over to welch's, ready to use the TOKITOKI WOLF FANG FIST, YAMCHAS FUTURE SPECIAL ATTACK BUT ONLY IN TOKITOKI "BLAMING OTHERS TO AVOID YOURE RESPONSIBILITY HUH WELCH'S"

welch's vanished and appeared above Gorg... "Let it be known that I do still hate you more than anything in the multiverse, gorg." he looked at cilantra who was still standing there confused. "But I believe that the rest of us, even you, gorg, have contributed far more than she has. She even needs help when fighting Raditz. If I were in charge of the Time Patrol, I would clear the ranks. And I would kill gorg with no consequences"

fructose suddenly pointed at the sky. "HEY I CAN SEE DARK SHERIFF 17! WE SHOULD STOP THIS CONVERSATION AND PLEASE NEVER CONTINUE IT!"

Gorg... and welch's looked up. "Oh Fuck."

dark sheriff 17 was charging a blast. "KA...ME...HA...ME...YEEHAW!"

"SINCE WHEN DOES HE KNOW THE KAMEHAMEHA" SCREAMED GORG... AS THE BLAST HIT THE tIME PATROLERS

the sheriff blew away the smoke emanating from his hands. "it's the kamehameyeehaw, y'all good for nothin' vermin"

.

elsewhere, in the very same timeline, an airship had crashed. a goblin, a dog, and a woman were outside it, weeping as the airship burned to the ground.

.

leed beppers stared in horror. one by one all of his friends were getting blasted away or something... he had to do something! but nothing worked earlier... "GUYS WHAT DO WE DO IF WE CANT BEAT THIS UNSAVORY DUDE?!" he yelled.

belle sighed. "im sorry beepus... but we have to run away... im going to try something and you need to promise not to get involved ok"

"NO PROMISES"

"yeah fair enough"

belle began to glow with a mysterious powerful energy... THE GROUND SHOOK FROM THE SHEER WEIGHT OF HER INCREDIBLE AURA! GIANT RED KI ORBS ROSE OUT FROM THE SEA AND BEGAN TO SWIRL AROUND BELLE IN A SLOWLY QUICKENING SPIRAL! THE CLOAKED FIGURE SWERVED TO FACE HER AND GASPED! "oh fuck the shadow of time didnt tell me any of them were this strong" he looked around for a second. "he didnt tell me about /that/ either though so what should i have expected"

"HEY CLOAKED DUDE WHO IS A FAKE GAMER AND ALSO A LAMEWAD DORKBUTT BASTARD" SHOUTED BELLE AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS, HER EYES FILLED WITH THE INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND SUNS!

THE FIGURE APPEARED RIGHT IN FRONT OF BELLE! "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A FAKE GAMER!? I HAD ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBERS!" HIS COLD BLUE AURA FLARED UP, CONTRASTING BELLE'S BURNING AMBER! HE HELD HIS HANDS OUT, PALMS FACING THE ORBS SURROUNDING BELLE

"what is he doing? its like he wants to be hit" said oleracea, who got slapped in the face by nart.

"YOURE REALLY FREAKING FOOLISH BUDDY" gargled the nart "if you knew a single FUCKING thing about battle techniques, you would know that he's planning on absorbing her energy, you FUCKING lunatic. get a job at burger king now pleaSe"

oleracea blinked. "what the fu"

THE ORBS ALL FLEW AT THE FIGURE AT ONCE! BUT THE KI ATTACKS DIDNT DO A THING! "BECAUSe. THEY HAVE BEEN ABSORBED" FINISHED NART

HOWEVER... THE FORCE FROM THE ENERGY ORBS BLEW BACK THE FIGURES HOOD TO REVEAL... YAMCHA?

belle narrowed her eyes. "just as i'd expected."

LARD BEEPUS CRIED OUT IN HORROR "YAMCHA?! WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO HORRIBLE I TRUSTED YOU AND YOU SAVED MY LIFE WAS IT ALL A RUSE WHAT THE F-" WHISper blocked lard beepus' mouth with his hand.

"so, you've caught on..." chuckled yamcha. "that i'm not, in fact, the yamcha of your timeline... but a yamcha of the future who has realized the darkness in his heart and began a life of crime under the shadow of time?"

belle "i didnt actually know that last part lol"

". yeah. ok. i. i think im just gonna kill you now that i've absorbed your ki energy" DARK FUTURE YAMCHA BEGAN CHARGING UP... A BRIGHT FLASHING KI BLAST APPEARED IN HIS HANDS AND BEGAN TO GROW! "GET READY... FOR MY KI-POWERED DARK FUTURE WOLF FANG FIST (im sure you can guess what it entails on your own.)!"

"WAIT, BEFORE YOU DO THAT... HOW ABOUT I SHOW YOU MY ULTIMATE ATTACK, UNINTERRUPTED FIRST? UNLESS YOU DONT THINK YOURE STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT..."

"I SUPPOSE YOURE RIGHT... THERE IS NO WAY YOU HAVE ANY CHANCE AGAINST ME NOW THAT YOURE ENERGY IS DRAINED, BUT I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY!" HE CHUCKLED EVILLY

belle closed her eyes and smirked. "im fully aware that this will be the end for me, evil yamcha. but i know i'm going to take you down with me." MORE ORBS ROSE FROM THE EARTH AND THE OCEAN! HER AURA FLICKERED, BELLE BARELY HOLDING ON!

"WHISPER!" CRIED BEEPS-R-US (rest in peice toys-r-us) "IF WE DONT DO ANYTHING BELLE WILL DIE!"

WHISper turned away, his face solemn. "if this is the route she's taking, then we must let her take it. its what the good yamcha of the future would have done."

"dont talk about the nice future yamcha..."

BELLE FLOATED INTO THE SKY ALONG WITH DARK FUTURE YAMCHA, THEIR AURAS OVERLAPPING INTO A BRIGHT PURPLE! STORMS RAGED ALL AROUND THEM, LIGHTNING CRASHING INTO THE SEA

"WHAT ON EARTH DOES SHE THINK SHE'S DOING?" SHOUTED GOHAN... "IS SHE REALLY ABOUT TO PULL A SACRIFICE HERE?"

OLERACEA GLANCED OVER AT NART FOR A SPLIT MOMENT. SHE STARED INTENSLEY UPWARDS AT THE SKY, HER EXPRESSION UNCHANGED FROM WHEN SHE HAD SPOKEN EARLIER. "i know whats coming" she mumbled

BELLE SMIRKED. "ITS TIME... RUSSET DECEPTION ATTACK!" THE SPHERES FLEW ABOVE HER AND MERGED INTO ONE, GIANT BLAST! THE SHEER ENERGY RADIATING OFF HER COULD BE FELT THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE PLANET!

"AUGH HOW IS SHE THIS STRONG EVEN WITH HOW MUCH KI I ABSORBED FROM HER?" SHOUTED DARK FUTURE YAMCHA!

the orb popped like a balloon. belle dabbed and punched dark future yamcha in the face "lol run for it gays"

"and that is why you listen to NART" shouted nart breaking the long silence that followed

yajirobe held on to his sword, taking a break from climbing. he looked at the sky. because it was the dark future, the sun wouldnt rise. everything looked like shit "EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE SHIT" he observed. "but not as shitty as it's gotta look from up there, huh korin? you betrayed me and its alnmost time for you to face what you have done... bastard"

suddenly he saw an explosion thousands of miles off in the distance. "not getting involved in that" he said, before continuing his ascent.

somewhere at that moment, a reverse namekian, and. something else watched a half saiyan blow up a nearby building.

"AND THATS MY COOL PRANK TIP OF THE DAY YOUTUBE, PLEASE LIKE SUBSCRIBE AND COMMENT FOR MORE SEXY VIDEOS! OH AND ONE MORE THING: IF YOU ARE CURRENTLY TRYING TO SAVE THE FUTURE RIGHT NOW, WELL COMMENT YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS SO I CAN DO THE SAME TO YOUR HOUSE. JAPEMASTER OUT"

"now that was fucking funky" Said the reverse namekian before getting blown away by the explosion

future korin was having a plain old not very gay time eating beans. he would be having a great time about now, but because it was the dark future, he was not.

"beans wont cure your depression" said golden puar. "and besides, what was the point of killing yajirobe? you know he's just going to will himself back to life anyway"

future korin chunched another bean. "you have no right to speak about this golden puar. you dont know what its like to have an ex boyfriend"

golden puar grabbed future korin by the neck. "YEAH, TELL THAT TO STEEL OOLONG AND THE SILVER PUAR HE CHEATED ON ME WITH"

despite not having access to the beans, a sensu materialized into future korin's paw. he stared golden puar straight in the eye while eating it. "lol wtf are you talking about you were built today and you wouldnt date any sort of oolong"

"FUCK YOU FOR BREATHING"

"ok"

golden puar activated his built-in jetpack and dropped future korin. "IM LEAVING. FUCK UO" he rocketed away without another word.

"good riddance" said future korin. "fuck he took my beans could this get any worse"

he heard a voice from behind him "of course it could you bastard cat made of multiple molecules"

future korin did not turn to face the sound. he narrowed his eyes. "yajirobe."

the group of loser time patrollers all sat at a campfire Gorg... set up. the moon was high in the sky. "god time really passes fast when you time travel huh" said Gorg...

fructose nodded. "yeah. it sure does"

welch's refused to be near the campfire. "Gorg has germs"

"YOU TOO" yelled Gorg... in response.

"You arent going to have any teeth pretty directly."

"YOU WILL DIE IN A FIRE"

the other two patrollers sighed. "i wish they wouldnt argue all the time..." said fructose. "im sure if they could work together we'd make a great team!"

cilantra turned to fructose. "hey uh, fructose... i wanted to ask you something quick?"

"huh? what is it?"

"how much do i... uh. am i uh. useful to the team"

fructose blinked. "of course youre helpful! youre my friend and you help a lot when things get of hand, and... theres no need to worry about it, ok?"

"...yeah. i guess"

"HOW IN THE BLODDY HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET OFF THE ISLAND WITH EVERYONE" SHOUTED NEW JEICE. DARK FUTURE YAMCHA WAS STILL RECOILING FROM BELLES WELL TIMED PUNCH... BUT THINGS WERE DICEY "WE DONT EVEN KNOW WHO ALL IS STILL HERE"

PUAR SCREAMED "I AM BUT ONLY BARELY BECAUSE I USED OOLONG AS A MEAT SHIELD"

"PUAR I AM GOING TO REPLACE YOUR BLOOD WITH RUBBING ALCOHOL" SAID OOLONG WHO WAS ALSO DYING

nart grabbed oolong and puar and TOSSED THEM INTO THE SUNSET

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"I THINK I DID A PRETTY GOOD JOB" SAID NART IN TRIUMPH. SHE THEN PROCEEDED TO FLY OFF IN THE DIRECTION SHE THREW THEM WITHOUT ANYONE ELSE

OLERACEA SIGHED. "NART FUCKING DITCHED US" HE YELLED "BUT I DONT THINK THATS TOO MUCH OF A LOSS ACTUALLY." HE GRABBED THE UNCONSIOUS TIEN AND ALSO LAUNCH.

"whats going on!?" she said, still having literally no idea what was happening. "is tien okay?!"

"GUESS WE'RE GONNA BE FINDING OUT SOON" SAID OLERACEA. "WHAT ARE THE REST OF YOU DOING"

new jeice turned over to oleracea. "if i remember correctly it was you who berated trunks for running away"

"oh fuck off" said oleracea who decked new jeice in his new face.

bulma was on the other side of the ocean. dont know why

gohan counted everyone. "ok yeah no there were far more people here than are now"

"we dont have time to dwell on that... we must get going quickly! belle put her life on the line for us and beepus is merely a baby boy who cant be left behind!" shouted WHISper

"yeah uh you can manage that on your own im holding two people already" replied oleracea before flying away with only launch and tien

new jeice stared. "OI YOU BLOODY BACKSTABBER COME BACK HERE SO I CAN BOP YOU ON THE NOGGIN" HE SPED OFF AFTER THE SAIYAN, RAGE IN HIS EYES

"WHY ARE WE LEAVING BELLE BEHIND" SCREAMED BEEPUS "WE HAVE TO HELP HER EVERYONE IS IGNORING ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" HE JITTERED VIOLENTLY

nart put her hand on bepus' shoulder. "sometimes. WE HAVE TO DO WHAT THING WE DONT LIKE. AND WE DONT HAVE A CHOICE. IT FUCKING sTINKs BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO"

WHISper shed a tear. "beautifully put... come along beepus, we have to catch up with everyone else..."

"BUT I DONT WANT TO" YELLED THE BABY BOY.

up in the sky, dark future yamcha finally snapped out of his recoil. belle fell downwards. /oh fuck i forgot doing that actually drains my energy/ she thought to herself before beingpunted into the sky by the evil yamcha.

"THAT WAS A DIRTY TACTIC... BUT I SHOULD HAVE FIGURED FROM THE STRONGEST OF THE FUTURE FREEDOM FIGHTERS... WE KNOW A LOT ABOUT YOUR RANKS, YOUR ABILITIES, WEAKNESSES, LOVE LIVES... THE SHADOW OF TIME HAS A VERY GOOD KNOWLEDGE OF ALL OF YOU"

belle righted herself in mid-air. "t-then how didn't you know about my ki manipulation?"

"well, uh"

"BECAUse YOURE A FREAKING DUMBASS" SHE YELLED BEFORE GATHERING THE LAST OF HER STRENGTH TO CHARGE FORWARD, READYING A SUPER STRONG PUNCH "SUCK ON THIS, /STRAIGHTIE/"

anger flared in the eyes of the shadow-yamcha. "are you calling me... A HETEROSEXUAL? OH NOW YOUVE DONE IT..." HE GRABBED BELLE'S WRIST THE MOMENT SHE WAS IN RANGE. "I HAD A BOYFRIEND... I LOVED HIM, BUT THE DARK FUTURE TOOK HIM AWAY... AND THAT IS WHY I HAVE TURNED TO DARKNESS..."

"ok im sorry about the straight thing and im sorry about your boyfriend but thats no justification for trying to murder people. theres gotta be some other reason right"

dark future yamcha glanced away for a moment. "if there was..." he looked back at belle. "i wouldnt tell you." IN THE SPAN OF A FEW MILLISECONDS HE SENT BELLE FLYING INTO THE REMAINS OF KAME HOUSE! HE BEGAN TO CHARGE A DARK RED KI BLANST! "DARK FUTURE DEMON WOLF LASER RAZOR!"

"OK I THINK WE'VE VERIFIED THAT YOURE FROM THE DARK FUTURE

"ACTUALLY. ITS BECAUSE I AM FROM THE FUTURE AND ALSO DARK" HE SAID BEFORE FIRING OFF THE BLAST! WHEN THE SMOKE CLEARED BELLE WAS UNCONSIOUS!

BEEPUS was quiet, after he had been screaming the whole time. "LARD DO YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING AND WHY WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW" SHOUTED NART. "WHISPER LETS GRAB YOUR SON AND GO OR WE WILL BE GOING DIRECTLY TO THE TOILET. AND THAT TOILET IS HELL"

WHISper looked at beepus, who hadnt moved an inch. "you heard her... we need to go"

"first it was future yamcha... and then we find out theres an evil future yamcha... and now belle is trying to sacrifice for us... WHISper." a flash of energy surrounded beepis... HIS EYES FLICKERED RED... SMALL BAT WINGS SPROUTED FROM HIS BACK...

"OH NO WHAT IS HAPPENING TO BEEPUS" SHOUTED WHISPER AS THE GROUND BEGAN TO SHAKE RAPIDLY! A DARKNESS SHROUDED BEEPUS!

NART SIGHED "NOBODY LISTENS TO THE NART" SHE RETURNED TO THE SUNSET, LEAVING THE TWO BEHIND

"WHY ARE YOU LEAVING-" WHISPER WAS CUT OFF BY LARD BEEPUS LAUNCHING HIMSELF AT DARK FUTURE YAMCHA! HE RAKED HIS CLAWS DOWN THE EVIL VERSION OF THE PERSON WHO SAVED HIM'S FACE!

"AUGH SHIT I CANT SEE" YELLED DARK FUTURE YAMCHA CLUTCHING HIS EYES "WHAT IS THIS? WHY DOESNT THE SHADOW OF TIME EVER TELL ME ANYTHING"

WITHOUT A WORD, BEEPUS GRABBED HIM AND TOSSED HIM INTO THE GROUND! HE TOSSED THOUSANDS OF TINY RAINBOW KI BLASTS AT DARK FUTURE YAMCHA "Never betray us again." he said, his voice eerily calm. "You'll regret it."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGH" VOCALIZED DARK FUTURE YAMCHA. THATS CALLED SCREAMING

"LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR" CALLED OUT BEEPUS AS HE FIRED OFF A GIANT KI BLAST THAT EXPLODED INTO MILLIONS OF SMALLER SKULL SHAPED KI BLASTS THAT ALL HOMED IN ON HIS OPPONENT!

WHISPER WATCHED IN SHOCK AS A MASSIVE EXPLOSION RANG OUT! "beepus... whats gotten into you..."

yajirobe stood across from future korin, his eyes intense. "stop doing that" said future korin. yajirobe stopped making his eyes intense. "thanks anyway get the fuck off my tower"

"you know exactly why im here, future korin. its time for you to repay your debts."

"you know," yawned future korin. "i'm an old cat, so my memories quite faulty. remind me why you're here again?"

there were only two words in response. "kitten kitchen."

"so youre blaming me for having to leave the show? one. we're literally in a dark future nobody watches tv unless they want the death penalty. and two? you were the one who ditched me to team up with puar"

yajirobe gripped the handle of his sword. "oh yeah, that totally justifies the whole leaving me without a word thing! you never return my texts!"

"/we dont get service on korin tower!/"

"yeah, likely story... who built golden puar? because i KNOW it wasnt you"

"how do you even know about golden puar he's only existed for a DAY"

". Fuck You." yajirobe drew his sword AND JUMPED AT FUTURE KORIN! FUTURE KORIN GRABBED A PISTOL AND SHOT THE SWORD, BLOCKING IT FROM HITTING HIM!

"ITS CALLED THE PISS TOOL, YAJIROBE. KEEP THAT IN MIND AS I TAKE YOUR LIFE"

"YOURS IS GETTING TAKEN MUCH SOONER... I CAN REWRITE THE FABRIC OF TIME, CAN YOU SAY THE SAME FOR YOURSELF?"

"I CAN TRY."

 **ok everyone im really sorry for my year-long absense ive been. Thinking about things. Future things to look forward to. Lard Beepus related things. if you wish to inquire i will be happy to elaborate... also i hope to return to a better posting schedule so stay tuned everyone. i hope thi** **s extra long chapter with new revelations was worth the wait... and al** **so the new cover**


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